How am I meant to handle this? :(

My co worker encouraged me to bond with her two kids six years ago and I looked after them for her in work. She and I became friends and she used to send me texts about what the kids were up to and used to say her and they loved me all the time. The children see me as an auntie also and still do.
Yet now they are older, my colleague won't even speak to me or come and say hello. She is lovely to everyone else but me (Other examples are for a different thread) and for the first time in six years, hasn't brought the kids in to come and see me so I am assuming this is now it. She knows I care and that she encouraged a bond between us all. I am so hurt and finding it hard not to tell her what I think as I do feel she has used me and you shouldn't play with peoples hearts like that. She has made it clear she is done and finished with me as are her children and that kills me inside. There isn't worth me saying anything as she doesn't care about me. I guess all I can do is quit my job. I feel so deeply sad and wonder how I am meant to keep strong? Some have suggested she is jealous but in that case she shouldn't have encouraged it for so many years in the first place. I then end up feeling guilty although I know I have never tried to replace her or any rubbish like that. All I did was care for them like family as she wanted and now have to deal with this pain. It seems so undeserved.

I'm sorry your friend did this to you. Did she ever say why she was done with you? Or was it just out of the blue? It must be very hard for you to experience this. Perhaps when her children are older they can make the decision to have a relationship with you despite what their mother says?

Thank you for the support and understanding. People have said it is my fault anf she has done nothing wrong but I would never encourage someone to bond with my kids and to love them if I had no intention of continuing the relationship. It isn't fair on them or me, you just don't do that to peoples hearts.
It is clear she has used me and now wants rid and that makes me feel more hurt then I can express in words. Her argument will be that the kids grew older and that is that but you don't encourage someone to love your children like family only to ditch them when it suits you and you personally no longer need that person. I wonder how she would like it if the tables were turned, it is ok for her, no heartache there but for me it is a different story.
I hope you are right that the kids will want to see me when they are older but I am guessing I will no longer be mentioned and they will forget me which brings tears to my eyes

Time for you to move on, and quit that situation. As long as you continue working there you will feel bad. Some people are just mean. Best to avoid them.

I know, just can't believe how much it hurts.

What a cruel thing for her to do to you and her kids. And you have no choice but to pick up the pieces of your life and move on, not that, that is going to be easy. Give yourself time to grieve.

I really appreciate the kindness shown to me here. I am devastated quite frankly and also quite angry that I have been used so blatantly.

sweety i am going through a very similar situation right now I have a friend of mine here in town I got really close to.....in fact I even argued I could have had feelings for her.

my mother was not allowing me me to keep a pet snake I had rescued at my house, I had asked her before in the past since she knew how to keep snakes if it could stay with her until me and my boyfriend could move out.

she said yes but she allowed her own personal life and issues to keep me from coming over and seeing my pet or her.
she even failed to tell me when the animal needed food knowing I would buy food for her...when and if she needed it.

but according to her I am in the wrong...fully.

she claims up and down I have too many animals and I could never possibly take care of the snake and the other animals of mine....

she went off on me a just a few days ago telling I was in the wrong for helping a friend in a bad situation that thought she might need for me to watch her chinchillas for a little while.

while trying to help them get them in my car....and get them over to my place...my car ends up overheating I comment about on Facebook (aka the root of all evil). And she goes off on me assuming I was getting more animals.

first off none of her business even if I am. Second I am going to school right now to be a vet tech. eventually in the future I would end up bring some kind of animal home from my work to give it extra time and attention to an animal...so when i think about all of this eventually she would have given me crap for something like this anyway.

its hard for me not to take all of this incredibly personally. Since it is attacking me as person and what I want to do in my life.

and I am sure for you the situation you are going through is just as bad.

but I agree with Thunder the best thing we both can do is learn from this hurtful situation and just move on.

even if there is pain/hurt and depression that comes along with it.

Maybe I just wasn't good enough/worth enough.

When children are involved, there is always heartache. It could be from losing custody in a divorce, or them simply growing up and moving away. For you, it sounds like the relationship with this woman's kids, was initiated more for her benefit and than yours. That's okay, you still got to love the children and spend time with them. You gave those kids a precious gift - your love and time and in return they gave you their love and affection. She can never take that away. Now, its time for you to continue to be an adult, consider this like a divorce, but without visitation, and move on to help other kids.

Just a bit of advice: Dry your tears, slap on a smile and pretend it doesn't hurt. Don't talk about it to yuor coworkers, that just feeds the gossip mill at work.

To handle the situation, I put hurt behind me by writing about it. I would create a story about the kids with a happy ending. Then I would go out and find somewhere I could volunteer those hours formerly spent with her kids, in doing things for underprivileged children - maybe like a big-sister program. You'll know what will work for you in healing.

I wish you the best.

I don't think you should put the blame on yourself...some times people are just mean and toxic to one another for no good reason at all.

that kind of how my friendship with my friend was. But thats also probably one of the main reasons that me and her should not be friends either.

you can't just be nice and sweet to someone one day...and then just be a ***** the next.

well ok you can but people are not going to like you for it very much.

I guess I feel angry that she has done tbis as she gets off scotfree whilst I am left with the pain.
I won't be bonding with any other child now, my guard is up

Seeing her be all kind and loving to everyone on facebook as well makes me feel so horrible. I am going to lock myself in the bathroom and have a cry. This is hurting so much.