confused

I'm new at this so please bear with me. I hope this is an appropriate post.

A few months ago I was about to end my life but ended up in the hospital with the help of some dear friends. I've always had thoughts about ending my life, but never seriously until a few months back. My problem is that whenever I have those thoughts now, they terrify me because of how close I came before. How does one make these thoughts stop? I'm not unsafe, but the thoughts scare me because they mean something bad could happen in the future. I just want them to stop so I'm not so afraid of myself. I do know they typically come when I am alone which is why I signed up here.
Can anyone else relate?

Welcome!

Maybe this will interest you.