[harleyxquinn]

i think i've become way too cynic but i'm still hoping i'm not. i tried to search it online, "how do i stop being snarky", because it is exhausting you know? i rant about the government and what politicians are doing as if they'rey next door neighbor, people i don't really know pass me by and i automatically hate them. even tv shows i'm watching i won't rest until i've commented atleast one time. when my husband is trying to tell me something which is supposed to help us both, i automatically go nasty and i retaliate with the lowest i could come up. i dont want to end up being alone because of this attitude.

Maybe you see through everything while others are happy just judging things on the surface. I'm pretty cynical too. Others cling on to some kind of hope, while you think it's just false hope they believe in. I wish I wasn't so cynical, I'm so cynical that I don't think I should give MYSELF a chance or listen to my own voice.

But don't let your cynicism prevent you from giving things, including other people a chance, including your husband.

I hope you feel better, I don't have any advice, but what you said reminds me of me.

[Frankbtl]

Hi harleyxquinn,
Just a few thoughts here:
If you're cynical about politicians, things in the world etc.......why not try to turn some of that into a positive, empowering thing for yourself/feel you're doing something e.g. if there are any campaigns you could be part of (and there's change.org online too), any fund raising things you could tag into for causes you're more passionate about....................???
Another thing though..........could some of this be coming from feeling something is missing in your life e.g. recognition, appreciation, purpose, real/close friendships?????? Because some of that you might be able to work on, even if it just involves talking to some of the people in your life about how they/you both could "do more".
Or maybe could it be more "defensiveness" sometimes/covering over where you may be feeling a bit vulnerable at times or perhaps stopping yourself from feeling vulnerable??
And this might be a long shot...........but irritability can go along with depression...........either something/s not gone/going well in your life causing it or.........well depression doesn't have to be a cause of a situation. So maybe?????
Anyway, anything that is going well? Anything you do/could enjoy or build on or try to switch your focus a bit more to? Anything that could make you feel more positive about yourself, your life or things going on around you??
And.............sorry a lot of thoughts there!!
I should give you a chance to come back on anything if you want to!!
So here if you want to talk more...............
Alison

[hvert]

I do the same thing. I try to stop, but not hard enough. I am working on at least not talking about some of this stuff with other people. like, if someone irritates me on line at Walmart (like they did today), I am trying NOT to tell my boyfriend about it.

I am also trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. That person didn't mean to cut me off, they just misjudged how fast I was going.

It's hard. I constantly have to remind myself. Like brokenentity said, if someone is not that way, I think they have false hope or just aren't as clear-sighted as I am. Very hard to break this habit - I've been this way my whole life!

[harleyxquinn]

thank you all.. yeah i can say sometimes it's really hard to shut up for me, i actually admire how my husband does it because i know im a handful but he just shuts up. it's gotta be hard coz i tried that, and i want to punch someone in the face instead..

thanks brokenentity, i will always try to keep in mind that some people are just what they are and give it a chance as well..

thanks frankbtl actually i thought about what you said about lacking anything in my life..i dont have close friends, all i have is my husband..that probably is one of the causes? no one else keeps me grounded i think. defensiveness, prolly because im arrogant? or i dunno..i dont wanna be seen as weak by people so i advance maybe?..

and hvert, exactly, even the littlest of things might set us off but yeah i'll also try to do what you and brokenentity shared. there may be hope for us yet