[musicformyears]

Hey all,

My name is Grace.

About a couple of weeks ago, I got a panic attack during sports class. On top of that, I had overwhelming negative thoughts. In the end, I was in tears. ( I didn't breathe in and out heavily while crying...because I already can't breathe. I just felt that my tears were slipping from the corner of my eyes.) My class and the other class were having sports lesson simultaneously, so it was embrassing for me...Nobody knew that I have frequent panic attacks before.

My class was really concerned and they asked me if I'm okay...etc.

In the following week, which means just last week, I went for the same class again...and was still feeling embrassed from what happened the previous week. Thankfully, last week's class went fine. But what really made me mad was after that class, I was walking and there was this group of 4 girls from the other class(in the same sports class I was in) were walking behind me. The first one said something about being sad and then being happy. That's when I first suspected that they were gossipping about me. The second girl said 'Maybe she's changing.' I was curious and I turned my head around and when towards the front again, the girls laughed and of them said 'I got you. I got you.'

But here comes the dilema...

My class and the same other class are going to have a combined class chalet soon. A part of me wanted to go for it, because I think my own classmates are nice people and I really wanna join the fun...but because of what happened previously this semester(Apparently, the other time, I got called an emo fellow by someone from the other class, after my self-harm cuts were exposed, during some sports activity), I didn't really want to go...because I'm afraid of what they are thinking of me now..... In the past, I don't care about what others think of me. I understand that it's not important...but sometime this year, I can't seem to not care about what others think of me.

I'm stuck...

[agatha9]

I know what you're going through, but do you understand that you do have a disorder? And is doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you, but that you don't feel or react like most people do, and that's fine! Well, it is fine as long as you look for help and get treatment, because this might be just a group of silly girls making fun of you, but self-harm is you vs. you and that's another story.

To the point: why would you miss the chance to prove these guys that you are much more than panic attacks and cuts? I'm sure you're funny and understanding, I bet you are a very sensitive girl, more than capable to connect with others at the kindest human level. So, why would you stay at home, being sad and thinking about this, when you got the chance to have fun and maybe forget what happenede by replacing it with good memories?

These girls, you don't know what's behind their comments. People who understand, who really care about others won't mock you, but try and help you. You know that. So... Think of them as girls who also have troubles and don't know how to deal with them, but pointing their silly fingers at someone else just to hide who they really are.

Don't let what other people think make you feel bad, but work on what you think about yourself and everything will be just fine. Hugs and good luck!

[musicformyears]

Hello agatha9,

Thanks for your advice. I really do appreciate it.

*hugs*
<3