[Jenni855]

I think I have realised why I am struggling so much with the thought of turning 29. When you are in your early/mid twenties, I feel that people still see you as needing a bit of looking after and nurturing. Especially from older people who still see that age as kids. Yet when you hit 29, I feel like people see you differently. I have never felt like I have had proper nurturing. Someone who hugs me a lot and loves me unconditionally, someone who listens and wants to spend lots of quality time with me, someone who I can go and talk to about anything, a mentor etc. So basically I feel I have lacked a mother/auntie type figure. I had a colleague at work who sort of took on that role as she is 15 years older. She used to call me sweet names, hug me a lot and say she loved me and I felt we were like family. But that has all gone now and we aren't as close anymore and when I do see her, she goes on about my age and me catching up with her. It makes me sad we can never get that time back. Sometimes I am tempted to forgive her for the hurt she has caused me in case there is a chance she can care for me the way she once did which sounds utterly pathetic I know.
But generally, I just feel sad and also guilty at my needing this in my life and not being more mature over it. I am so good at caring for other people and am a mother figure to so many myself. I just wish I had that for me. Does that sound silly or weird? I am trying to make sense of it in my own head by writing this.

[Altered Moment]

I don't think you should feel sad or guilty or silly for wanting and needing that. We all need that no matter how old. Maybe you can find some older people to adopt as a mentor. Seems like 29 is a tough age because it is a transition age. The 30's are good. You will probably find yourself feeling more mature in your 30's. It takes some work on yourself though.

[Jenni855]

I think I just struggle with it as it makes me so angry with myself and stupid. I really am pathetic.

[waterscollide]

You have no control over your feelings. None. You cannot change the way you feel. That does not mean you're immature. Emotional maturity is a different matter and refers to how you are able to analyse and understand emotions. You are entitled to all your emotions. I can recommend you some reading about this, if you'd like to.

[Thunder Bow]

You are aware of your hopes of being "Parented". But you have moved on from that hope. Hope is hard to let go of some times. You are realistic about getting parented by others. Support is fine, but you know you will do well, even when you do not get the support you would like.

[Jenni855]

I feel a bit embarrassed now and I worry I have sounded really immature.

[Thunder Bow]

No one scolding you here. No need to feel embarrassed. Actually compared to some posts I seen on the internet, you seem quite mature.

[Jenni855]

I am relieved to hear that. Sometimes I get embarrassed posting stuff on here and freak out after. I wonder if that is normal.