[Hellion]

Wow, think I am about at my limit as far as that is concerned...

My dads just ended up in jail(not sure all the why or what not but hopefully things will work out and he'll be out of that mess before too long)...but he also had two dogs he wasn't planning on getting rid of that I have for the time being...but moms already on my back about finding them somewhere else and to be honest I don't know anyone, not sure my brother or any other family members would know anyone who could take them for a while...and I don't even have the energy to take care of dogs honestly so not sure what to do with that situation, trying to take it one day at a time but I need some slack about finding somewhere else because on top of that my moms house is kinda stressful with her and her boyfriends arguing and drama...not to mention my depression and ptsd have really been kicking my ***** lately...and its all just overwhelming and making me much more easily frustrated. And its like the mercilessly go on about any time I forget to put something away or whatever...well I am kind of struggling right now so a little understanding that I might not exactly be all in the present and on top of every little thing, not that even when I am doing alright I can stay on top of everything....why!? and they're canceling my food stamps, I am supposed to fill out something for medicaid and I don't even know where to start with that.

I am just letting everyone down, can't keep up with things....have no idea how to find a temporary home for the dogs that would provide for my dad getting them back once he takes care of the legal trouble, starting to get kinda b*tchy and irritable at people and harder time with dealing with frusteration over little things like misplacing something due to feeling exhausted and frustrated and overwhelmed....Don't even have any real will to live, if I keep living than more opportunities to let people down it seems like. Also I'd like to think if I feel it nessisary I could go to the ER but if I get hospitalized before figuring something out for the dogs then my mom and her boyfriend will probably just give them away to some random person or something stupid(so might end up trying to hold out longer than I can to avoid that but then I never know for sure sometimes the darkness lifts on its own just enough to where I am alright and not worried about being a danger to myself..its just a lot of crap to deal with, and don't think I am dealing with it so great.

I couldn't even make a damn pot of coffee earlier, with a french press(i think they are called) without it just about turning into a complete catastrophe....first I go up to make it cause my brother was going to work and wanted some and I decided I kinda wanted some to so I went up to make it and then of course could not find the coffee anywhere till I looked in a spot I had somehow repeatedly missed it....of course I was frusterated and thought my mom or boyfriend must have hid it or something because they where complaining about me leaving my mail out earlier(kinda stupid I guess), then of course I had let these dogs out to go to the bathroom and they escaped the yard while I was frantically searching for my coffee because someone left the back gate open, so now my throat hurts from calling the dogs to come back luckily they did....but damn, can't even make a simple pot of coffee without a bunch of stress and a headache. Not sure the point of this or if there is a better section for it....I think getting over-stressed and overwhelmed is common in most mental illness though so figured this section would work, just venting some in any sense.

[kaliope]

you do sound stressed out...you have multiple things going on to stress you out....is it possible to go to your dads place to stay with the dogs until he gets out of jail? google family resource center for your area. if there is one, they can help you get your food stamps/Medicaid straightened out, at least that is what we do here. and by all means, if you need to go to the hospital, go. that is more imporatant than any of those other things. your mental health comes first. take care.

[Lemon Curd]

You can probably take the dogs to a shelter. Ask them to find temporary fostering for them, until your dad returns. You dad should have taken care of this. They are his dogs. It's nice of you to help the dogs. I wouldn't feel guilty, if I did have to take the dogs to a shelter. You're mental health must be put first, before everything. You will have nothing to "give" to others, if you don't help yourself first. "big warm friendship hug"

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by kaliope

you do sound stressed out...you have multiple things going on to stress you out....is it possible to go to your dads place to stay with the dogs until he gets out of jail? google family resource center for your area. if there is one, they can help you get your food stamps/Medicaid straightened out, at least that is what we do here. and by all means, if you need to go to the hospital, go. that is more imporatant than any of those other things. your mental health comes first. take care.

my dads place doesn't exist anymore, he was staying with a friend who owned the place, friend died....family is trying to sell the house and all that crap. So(though apparently a friend of the guy who owned the house knows someone with enough money to potentially just buy it in cash so I might still be able to go over there just to get away from my moms house when I have nowhere else to go hes a friend of my dads so thats all chill) I have the dogs at my house which is also my moms house. The mental health center I go to for therapy has a program to help with that so I could scedule an appointment just always such a hassle...but its better then just not having food stamps, I think my medicaid is still good though.

And suppose I don't know if i need to do that....I feel they would say I do but I am not so sure I agree not sure if actually suicidal or if I've just resigned myself to saying f*** it and living life however I feel like instead of worrying about everything and everyone else all the time in a most likely somewhat self destructive manner....I just really don't know.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by nutty buddy

You can probably take the dogs to a shelter. Ask them to find temporary fostering for them, until your dad returns. You dad should have taken care of this. They are his dogs. It's nice of you to help the dogs. I wouldn't feel guilty, if I did have to take the dogs to a shelter. You're mental health must be put first, before everything. You will have nothing to "give" to others, if you don't help yourself first. "big warm friendship hug"

Meh I don't know if I take them to the shelter there is a good chance neither me or my dad will see them again. Also he didn't have a chance to take care of it, he was trying to move with the dogs but got arrested over some stupid warrents from a past thing which is confusing since he already did time for it even though it was dumb in the first place, the charge anyways....but he had no time to figure anything else out as he wasn't planning on getting arrested.

Not to mention they where not exactly even his dogs they are his dead room-mates dogs, whos house he was staying at....guy randomly died, my dad since then has been trying to get out of the house since the guys family is trying to sell it and kicking him out and was stuck with the dogs so was trying to take them out of state with him I mean he bonded with them so that is why he was keeping them, but apparently there was a warrant. I may be able to find someone to take them in for a while, or might be getting a place with my brother and a friend or something to where I could take them....so just keeping them here temporarily till I can figure something out.

But I know I still have to watch my mental health, or at least try to....I don't know people say it gets better, well when? when I am like 40 or older? if I even get that far.