[lovesdogs99]

I'm so absolutely full of rage and exasperation. My sister constantly goes behind my parents backs and smokes pot and has a 21 year old boyfriend. Her name is L. L's best friend is C. C hates me. My sister and her best friend are both against me. My sister constantly takes C's side. I'm so worried for my sister and the choices she's making. I know they're wrong. and it's so upsetting to see her walk down the wrong path and push me away for some girl.. we aren't even just sisters. We are twins who have been so close since birth. Now I have been replaced. L thinks I'm jealous of her friends, her boyfriend, and her 'awesome life.'

I told my therapist about my sister. Put I didn't tell her that L's boyfriend is 21. A 20 year old pushed me into having sex with him last year. That's why I'm in therapy! Then L goes and gets a 21 year old.

Mom and Dad know what happened with me and the older guy. They know how bad it destroyed me. They were so disappointed but they care so much and just wanted me to be safe. I love them so much for caring.

But L doesn't care. She continues going behind their backs with drugs and men. It kills me inside. She's constantly lying to them. Replacing me. And the best part is my parents think that IM pushing HER away! They think I'm the bad kid! It kills me...

She's the liar.
She's doing all the bad things.
I'm the one keeping her lies and secrets for her.
And I'm the one who's constantly being yelled at..
"Stop being mean to L, she loves you!"
...

It's killing me.

This morning she's wearing my sleep pants. She's on her period. It irritated me because A. That's gross. B. They're mine. C. She constantly screws me over internally. Now she's doing it outwardly. Something physical.

I went ballistic. I tried pulling them off her. I was shaking and couldn't stop screaming. She was kicking and kicking me. It hurts so bad to walk... I already have walking problems. Now it's even worse. She ripped a giant patch of my hair out. When someone rips my hair out.. I can't stand it. It's the worst thing anyone could possibly do to me. I have very thin, weak, fragile hair. It falls out all the time. I already get made fun of for how thin it is and it's my biggest insecurity. All I want is thick hair.... So when she pulled it out it just killed me even more. I was sweating, shaking, sobbing, and screaming until I lost my voice.

I'm dying inside as I hold the weight of her secrets. Everyone is against me while she is out doing so many bad things... I sit alone in my room scoring A+'s In school.. But I'm painted as the bad kid...

[kaliope]

so why are you keeping her secrets? why are you accepting responsibility for her actions and letting everybody see you as the bad kid? if you are worried about her, why not let your parents know what is going on so they can take actions to stop it? instead of being an accomplice, do something to change it. it is not like you owe her anything. she is not being kind to you. you care for her and want the best for her. you do not want to see her go down this road. take action to change it.

[ifst5]

I think if you're worried you should inform your parents of what's going on with her - then it's best to leave it to them to decide what to do. You can't take responsibility for her actions or their consequences. It's just not your place. We can't make anyone see or do anything they don't want to. Focus on your own life and these feelings of anger and jealousy within therapy. Continue to work hard so eventually you can move out and lead your own life.

Siblings aren't the be all and end all - you might not have much of a relationship with her when you're older or the reverse might be true. But it's not uncommon and just because people are related to us it doesn't mean we're obliged to get on with them or involve ourselves in their business either.

Reconfigure your priorities and realize that this situation won't stay the same forever - if your sister wants to be reckless then one way or another she'll have to reap the consequences. All you can do is be a supportive where necessary and failing that - get on with your own life.

Originally Posted by ifst5

I think if you're worried you should inform your parents of what's going on with her - then it's best to leave it to them to decide what to do. You can't take responsibility for her actions or their consequences. It's just not your place. We can't make anyone see or do anything they don't want to. Focus on your own life and these feelings of anger and jealousy within therapy. Continue to work hard so eventually you can move out and lead your own life.

Siblings aren't the be all and end all - you might not have much of a relationship with her when you're older or the reverse might be true. But it's not uncommon and just because people are related to us it doesn't mean we're obliged to get on with them or involve ourselves in their business either.

Reconfigure your priorities and realize that this situation won't stay the same forever - if your sister wants to be reckless then one way or another she'll have to reap the consequences. All you can do is be a supportive where necessary and failing that - get on with your own life.

Agree 100%. Focus on you. Don't engage her. Your parents will notice this.

Also....don't sweat the small stuff. Ignore her bad behavior and let her keep the damn pants. It's not worth your time, effort, or emotions is it?

[Beachlover527]

Sorry to hear about this. I know what it's like to have a sister (mines older but still immature) who knows exactly how to push your buttons. It's extremely irritating. I don't know how I can tell you to fix this but I think over time, things will settle. When time passes, she will mature, and you will also mature. You guys won't be fighting about the same things that you do now and HOPEFULLY she learns to make better choices. I am sure things will settle with time. As for right now, I am not sure. I don't know if talking to her or your parents will fuel the fire. What really worked for me and my sister was after we got a bit older, I told her how I felt inside. I felt vulnerable. It felt very odd to open up to her. Maybe if you talk to your sister, she might not care which can backfire and piss you off. But hopefully she can understand you. Do this at a time where you guys both are happy so that things don't get as heated.
Best of luck. I wish you the best xoxo