[AS6855]

I've been having a hard time lately but my partners have been really supportive (I'm poly).

My partner said he is really proud of me but he hates that I put myself down so much because I self-sabotage and the only one who doesn't think I am doing well is me. He says that I have come a long way since he met me 5 years ago.

My bf said that I don't appreciate my achievements because I am looking at the next one. He says that I have grown immensely as a person since he met me 3 years ago.

I just keep forgetting how much trouble I used to have and take for granted what I am able to do now.

Examples are: I used to not be able to go in kitchens, I have been washing dishes recently.
Apparently I used to get super uncomfortable when my bf was standing in the bathroom doorway talking to while I was washing my hands. I'm so ok with him standing next to me now that I forgot I used to have that problem.
I didn't think I could ever have a full-time job and I have held one for almost a year.
I can now hug certain people, and I'm fine squeezing in on couches or just sitting on anyone's lap, as opposed to not being able to have anyone close enough to touch me.

I know I am not alone in giving myself crap for how I am. I need to remember that I have come a long way. And that I can go further. But I also need to remember to stop and appreciate my strength.

[Altered Moment]

Examples are: I used to not be able to go in kitchens, I have been washing dishes recently.
Apparently I used to get super uncomfortable when my bf was standing in the bathroom doorway talking to while I was washing my hands. I'm so ok with him standing next to me now that I forgot I used to have that problem.
I didn't think I could ever have a full-time job and I have held one for almost a year.
I can now hug certain people, and I'm fine squeezing in on couches or just sitting on anyone's lap, as opposed to not being able to have anyone close enough to touch me.

There you go. You just gave yourself credit by listing those things here. Good job.

[Frankbtl]

Hi AS6855, real inspiring thread for others, thanks so much for sharing
And I've got to say real kudos for having come so far!!!
Those sound like massive achievements, and some big life changing stuff there!!!!
I know old/familiar thoughts can sometimes still creep in no matter how well you're doing, but it sounds like you're finding a real good position to be doing battle with them!!!
So time to practice a bit more on recognizing those negative thoughts as soon as you can when they come up, to challenge, to invalidate them.........to replace them a bit more with thoughts you want to be having???
And time to write a list of all the things you've achieved, hey?? And then not only look at it from time to time, really see the things on there, and just how significant they really are.
And anytime you need those reiterating with you............well just let me know!!!!
Because YOU AS6855............well.....................:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alison

[ifst5]

One step at a time - remember, there are no clear and easy solutions to our sorts of problems. They also require a lot of effort to maintain. The good thing is that you have supportive people around you and you're willing to talk to them when you're finding it harder to cope. That's already a big step towards a more comfortable life.

[Avisince86]

Originally Posted by AS6855

I've been having a hard time lately but my partners have been really supportive (I'm poly).

My partner said he is really proud of me but he hates that I put myself down so much because I self-sabotage and the only one who doesn't think I am doing well is me. He says that I have come a long way since he met me 5 years ago.

My bf said that I don't appreciate my achievements because I am looking at the next one. He says that I have grown immensely as a person since he met me 3 years ago.

I just keep forgetting how much trouble I used to have and take for granted what I am able to do now.

Examples are: I used to not be able to go in kitchens, I have been washing dishes recently.
Apparently I used to get super uncomfortable when my bf was standing in the bathroom doorway talking to while I was washing my hands. I'm so ok with him standing next to me now that I forgot I used to have that problem.
I didn't think I could ever have a full-time job and I have held one for almost a year.
I can now hug certain people, and I'm fine squeezing in on couches or just sitting on anyone's lap, as opposed to not being able to have anyone close enough to touch me.

I know I am not alone in giving myself crap for how I am. I need to remember that I have come a long way. And that I can go further. But I also need to remember to stop and appreciate my strength.

I constantly give myself a hard time. I know I work hard, but if I even fall a little short of my goal, I feel like a complete failure to the point where I can't even look my boyfriend in the face. It is a process, I know that I can one day see that I am a better person, and maybe with talking to people here, it can help. I just hope that in some way it helps knowing someone out there can relate..I hope that in due time, you see that you have made great strides from your previous years