Angry

Getting angry with my husband. I don't know just things he does . He just demonstrates that he doesn't get it. I have talked but somehow he forgets or doesn't understand. Collective hurts have made things worse. Been over loaded for a long time and it is very painful. Tough day!

Sometimes people don't 'get it' and never will. Hope you can take a 'day off' today and take good care of yourself ... do something you really like to do. Maybe that will take the heat off your marriage and you both will feel better.

The hardest, but healthiest thing (no, I don't always practice what I will preach there being a great gulf sometimes between "knowing" and being...)
is to realize that it really has little to do with you. And that, it won't change. The hard thing is to focus on your self and do what you can do to feel good, productive, etc., in the absence of what you want from the husband/anyone so close (parents/kids/lovers etc)
I tell myself, for instance, that (and it is true ---it happened to be independently confirmed without prior knowledge by another or two) that when I was married (20yr) my husband blamed me for not finishing the house, for him not doing the things he wanted to, and he did actually make it hard for me to do certain things I wanted to----
well, near 20yrs on, he still hasn't finished the house (he lives in it) or done any of the things he kept saying he wanted to/would do...
He is a good person, and I miss him still...sad we can't be friends----but I was the Identified Problem, and he needs to hang onto that...
And, sadly, there are things I did not do because I held onto the belief that if he were only more supportive...
& so it goes.
For myself, I know I struggle with not really believing those who encourage me, believing deep inside in those who have not because, .......from childhood the big issue (I realize a bit late) was not having support from those closest to me (they "know" me and if others did they would think the same...)---wanting it so much that what others said, encouraged, rarely sank very deeply; so I tend to stop doing things as I become more skillful at them
I have chosen a couple of things to focus on, to refuse to disparage; and that has helped.

My thoughts are so painful . If I could just get a grip on them I would be so much better off. It just makes things worse! I have tried everything, distraction, writing, talking to my counselor. Oh but that is about my daughter!