[elin95]

I am too sensitive. When I am at work and someones says something mean to me or gives critic, i almost cry immediately and feel horrible. I get this all the time. Some people are just so mea n and try to make me feel bad . Do you guys have any advice how i can stop being so extremely sensitive? Thank you.

This is a tough one as it can be hard to change an emotion, no matter what it is. The best advice I can give is to constantly tell yourself that you are strong. You are not what people say. Tell yourself as much your can. I wish I had better advice, but unfortunately I don't have experience with this. ((hugs)) I hope the best for you and hope someone can elaborate with something more helpful.

[Thunder Bow]

You are in a very bad work situation, and you are being bullyed by your co-workers, and your being controlled by them. Time to look for anther job. You can not change them. It is not your fault.

[cool09]

If you suffer from chronic oversensitivity it might be due to a mood disorder or other mental disorder and sometimes can be helped with medication. If you were bullied a lot as a child or adolescent you could have suffered psychological trauma and you might benefit from counseling. Most people in the World are not classic beauties - take a walk around a large city and you will see that the vast majority of people have very average looks. It's rare to be physically attractive and looks are only skin deep. What matters is what's inside of you. Good luck.

[BLUEDOVE]

Perhaps you are sending out signals without being
aware of it,that you are a victim. On the other hand,
there are many,many people who are mentally sick
and feel bad about themselves,to alleviate that,they
attack others,with the totally crazy belief that this
raises them up somehow. If I were you I would
start learning assertiveness,and study how to achieve self-esteem. In the short term,tell them to
piss off ! You have a RIGHT to get angry when people disrespect you--exercise that right.
Respectfully,
BLUEDOVE

Perhaps this website will be of some help to you.

http://www.hsperson.com/

[KristenRenee]

Hi. I have the same problem. I have done some research on this matter and some therapy too. You must remember that the opinions and thoughts of others are none of your business. It doesn't define who you are as a person. No matter how hard we try to say and do the right thing, someone will come at us with criticism. Let them rant. Just keep your head up and keep your side of the street clean and you will have nothing to worry about.

Hi elin95!

You don't sound 'too sensitive' to me.. I find it perfectly normal to feel horrible when somebody's being mean to you!

As for people at work criticising you, is it possible they're trying to give you good constructive criticism?

The first job I ever had was working as a personal assistant in primary school to a boy who suffered from mental health issues. When I got the job, I had very little experience of even being around children. I also wasn't trained for the job, so the boy's teacher had to give me a lot of feedback and guide me through it. When I left the job, she gave me a little present, and on a card, had written some lovely things about our time working together. One of them was 'You receive criticism very well, heeding advice and all the time working to become better at what you do.' I was really surprised as until then, I'd always felt over-sensitive to criticism. However, at that job, I felt such a sense of responsibility as I was working with children and was so eager to do well that I had indeed breathed in all the advice the teacher(s) could give me. So, in that sense, I find that even 'negative' feedback can in fact be 'positive' and not something to be feared or taken personally or as the other person scolding me.

That being said, I find that if you've got low self-esteem (like I do) and those insecurities show on the outside, there are people who will strike where it already hurts. I have no idea what they get out of this or why they do it. Perhaps, it's as simple as people normally hating in others what they cannot accept about themselves. Whatever the reason, it's wrong, but sadly, we can't change anyone but ourselves. All I can say is, don't believe a word they say! It's not the truth about you. They're only saying those things because they themselves have got issues!

As for the bullying you're experiencing, that really needs to stop. It's horrible you have to fear something like that every day you go to work You might report it to your superior if you think it would help. The last thing we want, though, is for the bullies to make your life even harder if they think you're a 'snitch', so I hope your superior is nice and understanding and will really listen to you. Maybe he/she could act as a mediator if you feel you'd benefit from talking things over with the people who are giving you a hard time - you know, so you don't have to confront them on your own. If you feel they won't stop no matter what, then I'd suggest you try and find another job if at all possible. I'm sure it'd be a relief.

Hang in there, keep your chin up and remember that bullying is never your fault!