[Steiner of Thule]

I sort of know it's paranoia but then- It's the truth.

A hyperview. I can feel and hear my heart beating.

People are stabbing me in the back. They act like friends but then again they give off slight hints- they don't like me or they think I am weird/unlikable.

I'll remove them.

It's sort of a feeling inside, can't explain. It's an embarrassment. I hate myself. Though maybe if I wasn't so hypersensitive and didn't fill in the blanks.

I hate this. I hate everyone. I can't talk to doctors or even type here my thoughts because they are bad. They get to melt in my head.

[damage_case1987]

Well... we're all players in this game of life and no one is right/wrong or atleast no one has the right to call you wrong unless theyve walked a mile in your shoes.

In my personal opinion once you reach teen years and above, you have to realize is that there are no "true" friends, or bromance or the female equivalent of that. Money, love, jealousy, personal issues etc. come in the way of a "friend" looking out for you.

Adult friendship is usually just a cordial relationship between acquaintances. And it probably wouldnt last a day if there were no mutual meetups and bar nights and hangouts. Also, you're family/parents are your true soulmates (if you're lucky enough to have good parents).
So if you think you need friends then you'll have to bow down to the rules of society. Be more cordial just so they can help you when you need it (atleast hope for some favour fulfillment). And if you cant do it, then rejoice. Youre a loner and its nothing to be ashamed of.

[Fuzzybear]