Afraid of my own fear!

Hi there,

I feel I may have become oversensitized to fear.. I had to grow up fearing my dad and I think there came a point where I figured I wasn't going to deal with fear anymore - so these days (my whole life, really) whenever I've felt really scared of doing something, I just haven't done it. I've preferred letting go of whatever it is I've wanted so as to not have to be afraid.

This is really making my life difficult. I suffer from social phobia and am scared to death of being physically close to people. I manage to go to the shop to buy food but travelling by train or sitting in lectures has become impossible for me - the closer the interaction with other people might be, the worse I feel. I'm scared to death of making a fool of myself in front of others, and whenever I do, or think I have done, or even fear I might in a matter of minutes, I get an upset stomach - embarrassing..! Whenever I'm thinking of signing up for a class, I find myself checking to see what kind of classroom it's being held in, and if it's a really small space, or one where you have to sit close to someone else, and you can't leave unnoticed, I won't take the course - even if I'm required to!

I don't want to keep sitting at home watching my life pass me by.. Any thoughts, anyone? Has anyone else ever felt like they're afraid of their own fear?! Whenever I get scared, it's like every single nerve ending in my body is on fire.. It's terrifying. So I'd rather just not do anything that scares me too much - but when what scares me too much is being in small spaces with other people, avoidance doesn't really work - I have to be able to get a job and I'd like to be able to make friends and find someone to share my life with and have a family! What should I do..

The first thing you should do is go to the doctor and make sure that there is nothing physical that is causing some of the problem. Then tell him what's going on and have him refer you to a therapist. It sounds like just drugs is not going to solve the problem and that some therapy sessions will be necessary to help you start feeling better.

You put your thumb on the issue, when you mentioned your father. Therapy can help you get over the fear your father imprinted on you, at an early age.

Thank you for your replies!

I actually have seen a number of doctors over the years and actively went to therapy for three years. This fear issue has persisted, but I actually had a bit of an epiphany after I started this thread - that what is burning in my body is actually the emotion, that energy that I'm not sharing with anyone! It's exactly as my therapist has advised me - that whenever I feel stuck with an emotion, I need to share it. Just call or text somebody right then and there and tell them how I'm feeling.. It's just that my fears seem so ridiculous to me that I've been too embarrassed to share them, but I'm going to have to swallow my pride in order to move forward..