[boydisappearing]

So I know that one of my longheld, mostly untrue beliefs are that I'm an unlikeable person. I even go so far as to convince myself that friends are making fun of me or dislike me, and back it up with "proof" like they haven't talked to me all day when in reality we're all so busy.

So I cognitively recognize I do this, and know that what I'm thinking is likely distorted, but I can't control how I emotionally react, which is usually with disappointment, loneliness, sadness, fear. See, I can even name what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it and how it's not necessary.

But how do I change the emotional reaction so that it's more balanced and not so extreme?

When I feel an emotion that I can see coming and is obviously not proportionate to the situation, I pause and think of "excuses" for others. Example: Bob hasn't answered my text I sent yesterday-he must not have received it-. Etc. Also, taking time to pick apart how and why you feel that way to something might distract you enough for it to pass maybe?

[Thunder Bow]

Work with a Therapist on this, is best.

[avlady]

yes a therapist is in order probably, i think the friends really were busy, its not you. i hope you feel better about this situation.

[vital]

Originally Posted by boydisappearing

So I know that one of my longheld, mostly untrue beliefs are that I'm an unlikeable person. I even go so far as to convince myself that friends are making fun of me or dislike me, and back it up with "proof" like they haven't talked to me all day when in reality we're all so busy.

So I cognitively recognize I do this, and know that what I'm thinking is likely distorted, but I can't control how I emotionally react, which is usually with disappointment, loneliness, sadness, fear. See, I can even name what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it and how it's not necessary.

But how do I change the emotional reaction so that it's more balanced and not so extreme?

I think I understand this. When you're depressed, you may have beliefs like "people are hostile towards me" or "people don't want to be with me." In some therapies, one tries to recognize that these thoughts are untrue. The problem is, however, that very often these thoughts actually ARE true. That's because if you think that people are hostile towards you, they actually will BECOME hostile. If you think people don't want to be with you, they will actually start avoiding you. Similarly, if you are afraid of being attacked, people will actually then start to attack you. It's kind of a horrible trick that fools many people, I think. Even though your perception of these things may actually be correct, it may still be true that it's all indirectly coming from your own depression. It fools you because it misdirects you away from the root of the problem which doesn't really have to do with other people.

As far as how to change, I think I really know what do to there as well. See

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

- vital