I've lived my life in this sort of protective bubble, fiercely keeping anyone from getting in, and being too scared to come out myself. For some time now, I've been working towards becoming more and more visible.

Just now, I had a bit of a breakdown where I just broke into tears over how hard this work is.. I'm feeling really lousy and like I can't do it anymore!

Whenever I go out to the shops, I end up in situations where I blush for no reason and then have to worry about people making fun of me because of it - even if they just smile at my blushing, I feel awful, like they're making fun of my humiliation..

I was also supposed to take an exam at uni at the beginning of next month, but haven't been studying for it at all because I've been too mortified at the thought of having to go there - I suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which is extremely frustrating and humiliating. I thought about requesting to do the exam by myself so I wouldn't have to keep running back and forth between the ladies' room and a lecture hall full of other students, but then I was crippled by fear and shame of having only one person sit in the room with me overseeing the exam, and having all of his/her attention on me, and them having to go to the trouble of going back and forth between the study room and ladies' room as well.

I don't know if I can do this work.. How do you do it, how do you just walk into these situations where you know you're going to feel utterly humiliated! I feel I can't do it, but what's the alternative - never leave the house? I can't do that either, I need to earn a living..

[pegasus]

Hello d.o.a. Sounds like social anxiety Social Anxiety Phobia Symptoms | Psych Central Medication and psychotherapy can help you Social Anxiety Disorder Treatment | Psych Central Please go and see your doctor.

Thank you, pegasus

I've been diagnosed with social phobia. I saw a therapist actively for three years, dealing with attachment disorder, PTSD, the works.. Last year, I had to quit my job due to IBS. I've since seen my T only a few times, but we're still in contact vie email and texts.

More recently, I've seen another T for free (paid by the city, I think) - they've both said I just need to go into those situations that scare me, no matter how hard. My first T has adviced me to keep texting her or my friends whenever I feel scared to do something, and I have, but the fear doesn't seem go anywhere despite this!

I think I'm going to have to look into courses I might be able to take online. Can't keep that up forever, but I don't know what else to do for now, I have to be able to earn enough credits.. Don't think meds would help me, they don't take away fear, do they?

[pegasus]

No they don't take the fear away but it will help you to feel a little more relaxed and some anti-anxiety medications can be taken only when you need it. I'm glad you have some contact with a therapist. What you need to do is build up a good toolbox of coping strategies for those times when the anxiety is starting to build up.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Shame - why, who cares? In fact most people will hardly notice you - it is myth to think that people take a lot of notice of random others - we are just 'wallpaper' in their lives.

Perhaps your health problems weigh heavy on you and and this transfers into other situations and anxieties?

As for the exam, speak to the invigilator - they will seat you near the exit I expect, so you can leave/return without causing disruption or drawing attention to yourself. Or better get a note from your doctor and present this to the authorities - they must encounter may such problems and will know what to do.

Even if this is understandable insecurity and anxiety about your studies and health, you still might need help - does your university have a Counsellor?