Emotion Problems

I don't have a single amount of understanding with my emotions. I don't know what happiness feels like or if I already felt it. I don't know real sadness. I don't know real anger. I don't know any real emotions.
I do not know what emotions are real to me since I often act them out to get what I need (pretending to be happy so no one would notice me. pretending to be sad to pay respect to the dead and because everyone else is. pretending to be angry to avoid being talked to. pretending to be confused so as not to be asked the lesson. pretending to be scared to avoid a situation. pretending to be anxious to avoid a situation. pretending. pretending. pretending.)

Do you think there could be a reason for you to block out your feelings or did you always feel like that?
I don't know if give you a hug or not. At this moment, I would like to be like you. Not having feelings.
But, yeah, it was only a stupid remark from my part. I guess being overwhelmed by feelings is as bad as don't be able to feel.