isolation

Have you felt so trapped in your head everything around you isn't there anymore? That all you feel you jumped from one isolation cell to the next. I mean by I'm not sure if my mental health is seriously deteriorated from this. If I go outside it doesn't help, I go inside it gets worse. Certain situations where people ignore or think I'm ok cause me to freak out. It's kinda like a claustrophobic person, but its with existence and emotional too. I feel 24/7 that I'm a slave and my soul purpose is to work for others and die alone. Other days when I feel good about something it gets too much and I hear voices about how I can't get out and I'm being given a freebie to be kept into prison. When I cry my mom will barge in and yell me how I'm never gonna get anywhere in life every second. She's only cares about her laziness and making others do things for her.
When I say I hate my mom is not the same way you may think I hate her. She's caused the most harm to me because all she wants me to work all my life at a dead end job paying for her ****. Have blue balls and tells me I can't have premarital sex even though my younger sister at 19 can do all that however she wants. On top of that she's blown her money over stocking the fridge with food them can't afford food for about two months the fridge runs out in like a week from my mom and dad, but I mostly don't eat anyways. Recently we had no food period for being house poor from my mom of course from wasting het checks at a casino.
My friends think she is cool, and people tell me she is nice, but I hate her for not being an adult like a grown body two year old. All she does is eat sleep on the couch yell and scream and constantly brag how awesome of an overachiever she is. She wants me to be like that, I'm an overachiever but she never cares to notice when I cry shell force me to stop by yelling at me or forcing to call the cops. She nit picks everything says I can feel but can't. She's abusive mentally and emotionally. I hate her I ****ing hate her.
I came out being trans she makes fun of me telling me its a waste of money and it wont buy me happiness. She wants me to live her life and she steals my credit card to pay for her debts then now I have to pay her money from my checks to rent we never can afford its either her take two weeks of pay or I love out in the cold. I'm too far from my friends and I live two hours away from people back hone in Ohio. Dating is non existent she treats me like I'm five. I act more grown up than her the only way she proves her point is not by logic but she's a poor decision maker and she's not that intelligent as she believes she is. She puts her problems on everyone else takes responsibility when she feels like it. And wants to control you how you breathe eat talk and feel. I'm her ***** and slave. If she cared so much about my future why is she so hell bent on her self destruction. **** you ***** I hope you rot in your own hell.

I can definitely understand the feeling. A lot of times I get in my head and don't realize that life is continuing without me. It hard to feel as if no one cares, but I assure you that they do. It is human nature to care about others, and when people who do not understand MI are attempting to reach out, its hard for them to realize that there is a wall that is usually in place. The hardest part about dealing with people afflicted with MI is getting past the barriers we have set in place for protection.

As far as those that push their problems? You don't have to deal with them. Someone with aim to control is usually bullying in a sense and probably has something going on in their own life. Do not feel obligated to cater. You come first.