Something that helped me: Paying attention to what I tell myself.

Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience:
I use to NOT be aware of what I was telling myself. For example, if I thought someone lied, I just figured that they were a liar and that I was unlucky and it was unfair to me that this happened. But later, I became that by telling myself that I was unlucky, treated unfair ("victim" of unfairness), etc. I was doing myself a disservice.

Now, if that (same thing/being lied to) happened, I would instead tell myself that I am going to be wise and careful around that person, and good for me for noticing. Now I am telling myself I was observant (for noticing) and have self respect for taking action (even if it is only being more cautious).

Anyone else find that monitoring the messages you tell yourself works wonders? It has me feeling much better and more confident.

Another example: Telling myself, "I can do this," vs. "I can't do this." "This is challenging," versus, "This sucks, poor me for having to do this crappy, blah blah."

yes yes yes 100 times yes. perspective is (almost!) everything

this idea of perspective can go far beyond what we tell ourselves in the present, it can also change our perception of the past. we can literally change what we believe happened to us long ago.

the hardest part, i thought, was learning to let go of rigid belief systems; to stop holding on to the idea that our memory is infallible and what we think is concrete. let the world relax, and reshape into a kinder, more responsive place, and you will get to live there~