[PianogirlPlays]

Upset with my grown children because they have hurt me and are so inattentive . My husband and I are getting quite old and have many health issues but they don't really keep up with us or visit. Too busy , too self focused even though we have really tried to be kind and generous. There have been times that were better but we are really struggling now and wish they cared for us better. Wish they could change their schedule a little bit to make time for us. It is so hard and it has been so long and there are grandchildren involved. This is extremely hurtful and now I have gotten painfully angry. The anger is making me sicker. We have tried to speak to them but all we hear is how busy their schedule is but all we want is like once a month . It is sad that they can't see the way they are being towards us. I fear they will live to regret it. We now know what it is like to be without those elders that we loved. If I could have them back I would be more attentive! People just don't realize!

[avlady]

i guess my parents have it good compared to you. they had 11 kids, only 1 of them refuses to distance themselves. they hve 10 grandchildren. my mom is bedridden for the past month because she broke her arm and leg on the ice. my dad has to get his leggs broken to straighten them out, because of arthritis. my brothers take care of them, and my aunt who is a nurse is taking care of my mom. i even went there a few times, i don't live very close to them, but i wish i did. i really don't understand why people don't want to take care of their aging parents, if it were up to me i'd be with them every day. i hope your children see the light and come to your aid, i will pray they do.

[JJBX]

The only people who I know that avoid their parents typically have pretty good reasons. Most of the people I talk to keep in touch. I see my mother, usually, every other week. We have had stretches though where we didn't see each other for a few months because everyone was too busy. I also see my in-laws about every other week too. My mother and I try to do fitness or art classes together so that we can meet up, do something interesting, and we usually go out for coffee or lunch after our class is over. She also wants to attend NAMI meetings with me. She wasn't always like that, but since I got pregnant, she has made a bigger effort to be a part of my life and wants to play a very active role in what will be her first grandchild's life as well. My in-laws don't have those same interests, but we do go out for dinner maybe 1-2 times a month to catch up with them. They also like to plan larger family vacations once a year so that everyone can spend time together.

The people I know who see their parents less than once a month hate seeing their parents usually because their parents are unpleasant, guilt-trip them, always ask for often complex favors, and they complicate their lives. When they go to visit, they don't do anything fun, they often just wind up sitting in the living room, which is not usually what they want to do. I know someone who stays as far away from her mother as she can because her mother tends to be kind of selfish, complains a lot, and when she comes to visit, actually makes messes in the house.

I don't know why your kids don't see you, it could be honestly that their lives are hectic at the moment, but you might also want to ask them if you are doing something that puts them off. It might be one way of trying to bridge that relationship so that you see everyone more regularly.

[PianogirlPlays]

Actually we really hadn't done anything. They really have been busy but we had them to dinner last night and things went very well.

[avlady]

piano girlsplay that's great you saw your parents last night i hope things continue to be ok