[Steiner of Thule]

A common feeling for me is that other's feelings are very fake. It feels fake. The meds helped a little but that feeling of nothing is real and everyone is fake is slowly seeping back.I sort of knew the meds wouldn't last forever but I was hoping I could at least have a life for a little bit. I wonder how long I can go and perhaps I can keep going even without the meds.

I gave myself a lot of exposure during this time for my social anxiety.

I feel like a fool sort of and I can't stop trembling. It's a trembling in my core. I'm anxious or afraid or something. I don't know. Maybe upset.

Either way people are becoming more fake again. Maybe my mind always knew they were all fake. Though it also feels as if they are all mischievous and deceitful.

They are all definitely talking about me behind my back. Why does it matter if they are talking about me behind my back? A good question.

I guess I should lay down and go to bed. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten this job.

[palerefraction]

Thule - even if you decide to quit, know that there are positives to be found with your job. you were able to combat your social anxiety, you got paid, you were able to conquer that part of yourself
I don't know why people feel "fake" to you, but I can understand the deceit and dishonesty in people. I am reaching the same point. Maybe you need to come to a peace with the traditional 'climb the ladder' kissing *** that goes on and decide if it's for you?
good luck finding sleep

[RisuNeko]

Are you maybe feeling like when others express emotions they are fake because when YOU express emotions (especially of happiness or socialness) you feel fake? Sometimes that happens to me when I'm depressed. I think the happy people are lying to themselves and ignoring the darker reality that life is pointless, this is a dead end job etc.

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by RisuNeko

Are you maybe feeling like when others express emotions they are fake because when YOU express emotions (especially of happiness or socialness) you feel fake? Sometimes that happens to me when I'm depressed. I think the happy people are lying to themselves and ignoring the darker reality that life is pointless, this is a dead end job etc.

I feel that way some yeah. People can usually tell I am faking my emotions too because they comment on it. "Wow you really sound like you love it here!"