Trying to accept it

Being alone forever. Everyone I see, I can't touch. I can't have friends. I can't have girlfriends. I can only view the world from outside and see everyone having fun, but me. I'm not allowed to have fun with others. It's like I've been chosen for a duty and I don't get to say no. Destined and chosen to be absolutely isolated from everyone.

It's just grand being me. Everyone moves on and things turn out well for them while I sit in the rain and rust. So much laughter I hear and in my core I tremble from jealousy and longing. Why am I not allowed to have that.

I dont think you have to be alone unless you want to . To me its hard because I am trying to get rid of emotions I have for a guy so its hard for me to move on, but I keep my doors open at least I am trying . Your not alone ever ... LOL I have to remind me of that myself .

Steiner wrote: "I'm not allowed to have fun with others. It's like I've been chosen for a duty and I don't get to say no. Destined and chosen to be absolutely isolated from everyone."

Why? What is the objectively reason for this? Aren't you a person? So, there is no a rational reason for thinking like this.

Steiner, there have to be something that stop you for having contact with other people. For example, in my case is fear of being rejected and fear of being hurt.
So, why don't you try to think which are your reasons so you will be able to work on them and have the opportinity to have a better life?

Fear for me. A lack of social grace. I don't have anything of my own. I can't relate to others. Everyone has something they can talk of. I don't and it makes it impossible to form bonds.

I don't know if I want to be alone or not. Intimacy and working to keep friends tires me. I don't have any friends now.

But your talking to me .. And what you say intrest me and I feel we have something in common , fear of being rejected or laughed at when I express myself .... I dont think to higly of me when everyone tells me I should because im a really sweet person .. But maybe I feel I put to much thought in things that i the end have no solutions like fearing rejection .. it happens all the time .. but I still make that like the biggest obstacle ever lol ...
You can add me as a friend . Or I will if you like ... I enjoy our talk

Ah I guess so haha. I tend to feel like trying to be expressive is playing a game of chance. Incredible regret when I don't get the response I want along with that feel of anxiety when I do go for an expressive/outgoing response.