[Lostdeepinspace]

Im lying here.... wondering why we have to live by society rules..... why life is the way it is.... why I do the things I do..... Why I work as hard as I do and not follow my passion.. Why I love one man but dream about another .... why my heart doesnt follow what it wants or better yet why the mind plays games.... why does everything I do always have to affect others..... why I cant just be free with out regrets on decisions I make or dont make.... why I constantly worry about every single thing... why cant I just leave, go and be me, without hurting anyone, without causing problems to anyone, without regrets for leaving or living .... In this moment I am feeling completely NUMB. Not happy.... not sad nor mad... JUST NUMB.

The music causes me to drift in and out of reality.... imagining what it would be like if I could do it all the way I WANT.... wondering what life would be like then...... I want to leave the society life.... and go be free..... where ever the music takes me.

[CANDC]

Lostdeepinspace I am so sorry you are suffering from a feeling of being disconnected. With mood swings you can talk to your psychiatrist about meds and mood swings.

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

Glad you are joining us here. There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Thunder Bow]

All I can say, is go where the Music takes you.

[jaofao]

It's because people are connected in special ways, like now, you're writing for strangers to read and respond. No one's really... on their own.

[Lostdeepinspace]

Thanks all for your responses. I am on a certain diet low carbs and no sugars. I used to be on meds for Cyclothymia, but have since stopped seeing a psychiatrist and no more meds as I thought everything had gotten better as I had no mood swings for awhile. I am really trying to go where the music takes me.... but that seems to be what makes it more difficult. I really love that I can just let my feelings go on here and everyone is supportive. You are all too kind