[indigo1015]

So, I've used this analogy before, but it really rings true for me; you know those times when you're out with some friends and you're the only one not getting completely loaded, well suppose one of your really drunk friends says some pretty horrible things to you in the midst of their totally inebriated state. It really hurts, and you feel terrible. A few days later you see that person again, and they are completely sober and have no memory of what they said that night. They smile and treat you like you both are friends and things are completely normal; but you remember what they said, and it still hurts. That's what this whole weight loss thing has been like for me-- everyone who said awful things to me in the past when I was obese seems to have totally forgotten that they ever said that stuff, and now they want to be BFFs or whatever with me. Not happening, because I still remember what they said, and it still smarts. Fellow students, former instructors, doctors and NPs, they all are acting like this is completely okay. It's not okay, but I have realized that I cannot control what people say. However my counselor and I are working on me getting in touch with my emotions and setting boundaries. Here are the emotions that are currently present for me: embnarrassment, discomfort, anger and hurt. And the best way for me to handle these, in my opinion, is to set boundaries based on my values and hold to them. What do I value in a person-- honesty, integrity, consideration, compassion, discernment as opposed to judgment, intelligence, humility, and hard work. If you don't possess at least some of these qualities, I will always be nice to you, but I will not include you in my life, because I have seen your true colors and what you obviously value as important, and it doesn't mesh with what's important to me. Those are my boundaries, and hopefully using them I can reduce the likelihood of having to be one who remembers when others seem to have forgotten.

[Thunder Bow]

Best to stay away from where people are drinking, and stay away from people who are drinking drunk.

[ChipperMonkey]

I understand. I lost a lot of weight at one point, and it was shocking to see the difference in the way that people treated me (especially guys). I wasn't prepared for it in the least, so I gained the weight back as a protective mechanism. So yes, I do know how people treat you when you're overweight as opposed to when you're a normal weight. I've been told that its all in my head, but I know better, it isn't. I hate how society is so shallow. I want that bell to be un-rung, but it is what it is, and I can't go back to ignorant bliss. People are discriminatory toward those who are overweight, sad to say. It really does make you re-examine the people you have in your life.

[indigo1015]

Hey Chipper, yes that's exactly what's happened to me, and if you've never been obese it seems you are unable to comprehend, at least the people in my life who have never been obese seem to have trouble understanding. Luckily I found this center for eating disorders and go to this group of people who've had similar experiences, and it really helps knowing people who have the same issues

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I understand. I lost a lot of weight at one point, and it was shocking to see the difference in the way that people treated me (especially guys). I wasn't prepared for it in the least, so I gained the weight back as a protective mechanism. So yes, I do know how people treat you when you're overweight as opposed to when you're a normal weight. I've been told that its all in my head, but I know better, it isn't. I hate how society is so shallow. I want that bell to be un-rung, but it is what it is, and I can't go back to ignorant bliss. People are discriminatory toward those who are overweight, sad to say. It really does make you re-examine the people you have in your life.