Hello, I'm new here and learning the ropes on how to post stuff. Quick background, I'm 34, BiPolar II with Panic and Depression. I've been on the same meds for over 12 years, Trileptal, Klonopin, Welbutrin, occasional Xanex. The last year or so I didn't feel my meds were working so well. So I saw a neurologist. She put me on Gabapentin about 3.5 weeks ago, I'm up to 900 mgs now and I am slowly trying to titrate off my klonopin and trileptal in hopes the Gabapentin takes their place. I was told to take G at night because it may make me sleepy, however it was starting to make me anxious at night so as of yesterday I took it slowly throughout the day and decided that's what I'll try. This morning had been great and I just told my mom, wow, is this what it's like to be happy? Or am I manic? Then out of nowhere a weird feeling hit. Not quite a panic attack but the same sort of symptoms, I immediately chewed a Xanex. But I digress. Just looking for some folks to talk to who have the same issues or know about Gabapentin. Basically looking for a support system because I don't really have one amongst my family. Plus, as you all know, they don't understand Thanks for reading my ramble, I hope to hear from someone

[Crazy Hitch]

Hello Marley

Thank you for this -

I've found a good link here on Psych Central - it's a blog that runs through some of the symptoms of hypomania.

You may want to have a read through it and see which of the characteristics you may / may not identify with; )and then if you feel that it is causing concern you may want to chat to you doctor).

Hypomanic Episode Symptoms | Psych Central

[Thunder Bow]

With all those medications your on, no wonder your feel the way you do. Talk to your doctors about cutting down on some of them.

The meds I'm on have been the same for years, it's the Gabapentin that has been the addition. And she's put it on me in the hopes of coming off one if not two of the other things.. New Dr. . A Neurologist this time because I was having severe memory issues and have been riddled with back pain for years so I think she was trying to kill two birds with one stone. It's scary trying something new after having the same combo for so long. I had a bad episode on Saturday. And was alone with my daughter. I ended up having to take more Klonopin and Xanex and was just tired. But didn't feel as bad as I did. It sucks not having help. I don't have a shrink. I hate them. I think it's great they work for so many but they don't for me. And therapists are worthless to me if I can't talk to them when I need to. That's why I searched for a forum like this to talk to others when I really need to. I think I've gone through every shrink on my insurance list. haha. I'm hoping his nero lady can help. I have a call in to her to see if we need to change something up.

[Thunder Bow]

A real therapist would be better than the internet. Therapy can be painful but worth it in the long run. There are no quick fix. Think of alternate kinds of therapy such as group therapy.

I appreciate your suggestion but I'm not one who has a lot of issues a lot and when I do I need to talk to someone NOW not a week from Thursday at 2pm. ya know So a forum like this gives me the ability to talk to others with the same problems I have and the same pains, people who understand. Unless that therapist is Bipolar they DON't understand. I've never gone to a therapy session and been in a place where I needed to talk. It's always when I can't get in to see someone that I don't have anyone.

[ProRunner36]

I'm a long-time bipolar (with many in the family) and most of my "recovery" came about when I started to face my thoughts and emotions head on. I used TM (meditation) to help me get to that point. For about a month in my late twenties, I would sit on the floor of my living room with all of the lights shut off for about three hours a night. The point was to allow whatever happened in my head to happen and just watch.

It was rough at first. Eventually I learned my feelings and thoughts quite well. I started to make the distinction between happiness and a manic state a little while later. It actually got pretty dang obvious lol. The best way that I can explain it is that happiness was deep in my mind, brought about by events and circumstances in reality. The manic state was just some loose feeling in my body...like an unconnected energy zipping around. Once I learned to recognize them, I sort of just ignored them. Eventually they started to taper off.

Here's the kicker...I'm fully conscious of how I used to "feel" throughout the first half of my life. Compared to then, I feel like an unemotional rock that hardly feels anything lol. But that's just by comparison. What I feel now is the gentle push and pull of stable emotional responses rather than racing rollercoaster of whatever shot my way.

BTW, I did take Gabapentin a long time ago. It gave me the scariest night terrors I've ever experienced!