[Nina Simone]

My family is not supportive of me and they can be cruel. I've limited most of my interactions but I see them in controlled situations I've mentally prepared for. I tell them "I'm not mad at you...I just can't f**k with you". I have an Aunt I have not seen in almost 3yrs but I talk to several times a week. The last few times I saw her she was so mean I left in tears. On the phone I can control the contact.

Recently she was hospitalized several times and sent to rehab. I called but didn't visit. Today she decided she would tell me off for this and all the things I haven't done for her. I told her she could be very mean and hurtful and I don't like having my feelings hurt so I stayed away. This of course unlocked the flood gates to what a terrible person I am. I told her I never said I was a good person. That I stayed away, minded my own business and tried very hard to never ask the family for anything.....ever. I need to protect myself and the family does not care about me. I would rather be dead then have to ask any of them for anything. Her anger was so red hot I felt like it was burning me through the phone.

I'm 54 years old.....54. I'm tired of dealing with other peoples anger, cruelty, ignorance and unhappiness. I can no longer carry their burdens and I can't be their whipping board. My life has become very small but isn't that better? Allowing someone to mentally or physically abuse you just to have a lot of people in your life is not having a life. I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to end my life. I think whatever life I have left to live should be somewhat peaceful and have at least a little happiness in it.

[CANDC]

Nina, I am deeply sorry that you are being harassed by family members. No one should have to go through that.

People who I have in my phone address book on my cellphone show up when they call. If I am not sure about their mood I let it go to voicemail. If the voicemail is not good I save it and listen to it some other time or delete it.

If they keep calling I turn my phone off. If they are getting to me I pay the money to block their number. I hope it does not have to go this far.

I am sorry you are 54 and dealing with people's stuff. I am older and still dealing with it. That does not seem to go away but my focus on helping others takes me out of that world of abuse into a world of hope and empathy.

It is like being in the chat room and everyone hears me and empathizes. I remember that and it helps me avoid seeking an escape. I don't want to miss all the goodness because of the stuff that people keep sending me that is upsetting.

I would think about ways to not aggravate family members. If that is not possible think about ways to distance yourself from them mentally. They are angry people that need help. Feel sorry for them. Compassion for others even our harassers is a road to recovery. What they do is not right but not reacting is our saving grace.

U know how on airplanes they say put your oxygen mask on first, then help others? IMHO that's a great rule for life too. I'm older than u and still have to remind my self that if I'm not in a good place, I can't deal with somebody elses bad place. That what other people say especially when trying to make it all my fault is not reality. I am not powerful enough to have caused all the havoc in their lives.Thank god for voicemail, caller ID, texting + the off button on phones. Altho I must admit I miss all those dropped calls�� . But I still have a battery that can get low! I've seen too many good people hurt and destroyed trying to please family. I will help or just listen but only after I put my oxygen mask on first.

[Thunder Bow]

Protect yourself. I hope you are not living with them. Some times it best just to hang up and turn off the phone. Turn on the phone only when you need it. You no longer need to get caught up in that horrible process.

[mountain human]

This is another reminder that no one is capable of pushing our buttons and triggering us like our family members. Supportive, caring family can be such a blessing; conversely, relatives like yours are a real burden and probably not worth the emotional strain.