Scared of fear

Hey,

Need to share how I'm feeling again as I'm studying for exams and once again, am finding it hard to stay focused as I'm so afraid..

So, I absolutely should pass these exams so that I don't have to pay back the financial aid I've received from the government. I'm unable to work at the moment due to illness and am terrified I'll have to borrow the money off my parents if I fail.. I know they'd probably help me out, but I'd feel so embarrassed and like a loser for having to ask..

The worst thing about my situation is that I'm terrified, absolutely terrified of fear. I think it might be a trigger for me.. I think something happened when I was a child that made me so afraid of my dad that I dissociated, tried to shove the fear as far away from me as I could as it was too much and I couldn't handle it. Now, decades later, whenever I'm afraid of anything, even small things - and this happens a lot! - I feel like I'm suffocating and I try to dissociate from the fear - because I believe that no matter what the issue is, I can't handle it - and my mind goes straight from fear to 'I'm about to die!'

Phew.. So much stress Anyway, I thought that by sharing my fear, I might be able to start 'getting to know' it, make it seem less frightening by not running away from it anymore..

Could someone please tell me not to worry.. that no matter what, it'll be OK.. that things have a way of working themselves out.. something like that

I agree that sharing your fears help alleviate the distress. That's one thing I like about PC. It's a place where you can share such things without being judged.

As a chronic worrier, I can tell you that most of what we worry about turns out fine. So since you have prepared for the exams you should do just fine. Once prepared there is nothing to fear. And you are right things do have a way of working things out. So stop worrying.

.. that no matter what, it'll be OK.. that things have a way of working themselves out..

That is true.

Disregard the imprints your family put on you saying: "You will not survive" or "You will not make it on your own, with out our support". Or "you will not make it, living on your own".

Once a king asked a wise man this question- say something that would make the happiest person sad and the most miserable person happy.

The wise man said- "This too shall pass"

This too shall pass my friend. Prepare for your exams as well as you can, and go write it. In the end its just an exam, and life still remains.