[seesaw]

So today my brother was in a motorcycle crash and his leg was mangled. He is in the hospital, already had one surgery and will have another on Monday. My dad is there and giving updates via text to the whole family.

And I'm really angry. When I was hospitalized for my PTSD and depression, all my dad had for me was anger and judgement. He yelled at me, he judged me, he refused to believe anything about my condition because I wouldn't let him talk to my doctors. I admitted myself because I was suicidal, and twice I was committed, but all I got from him was anger and yelling at me, making me feel worse.

Now my former drug-addict brother is in the hospital, the brother who tried to molest me, the brother who threatened to kill me or beat me up all the time, and my dad is nothing but compassion and worry. Where was that compassion and worry for me?

I know this situation is not about me and I am concerned for my brother. I offered to help do whatever I could while he's in the hospital. But at the same time, the sting of my father's multiple abandonments of me, both physical and emotional is making me so angry. Frankly, it makes me want to hurt myself, but I know that doesn't solve anything.

I know I'm my own responsibility and I am responsible for my own actions and my recovery, but I am lately continuously being reminded about my father's role in making me the way that I am. The reason I would never let him talk to my doctors is because he is part of my problems, not part of the solution.

I am just so angry right now. And I guess I'm jealous too. Jealous that my brother always seems to receive such compassion and care when I don't.

[CANDC]

seesaw, I understand completely about the hypocritical reactions to MI versus physical ailments. It just is not fair. But much of the world is too scared to face their own condition so they avoid anyone's MI out of fear and anxiety. It is too bad the world would not just be more understanding and compassionate.

But we are here at Psych Central. You don't have to harm yourself. We are here to show you we care and we embrace you with whatever you are going through.

PM me if you feel you want to discuss further.

[divine1966]

I am so very sorry. Some people don't believe mental health issues are true illness. Like you don't need the same cars as if you had a broken leg.

And i so know how you feel as my dad is a source of my problems.

I know it's not the same but my dad refused to attend my daughter's wedding because he hates her dad ( no reason as her dad is a good man ) hates weddings ( untrue) and I am divorced ( the heck what's to do With anything).

Yet he goes to weddings of random folks like friends or third cousins and has fun. Took many months for Me to get over it. So offensive. I didn't talk to him for a long time after that. He never even apologized

Well at least he didn't do what he did to my brother 25 years ago. Walked out of his wedding because he didn't like my sister in law ( again no reason). So I guess it's worse than not showing up

My dad is awesome to random people and nasty to his own family

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[Thunder Bow]

Your father has trouble dealing with Psychological issues. They scare him to death. That is why you got all those accusations from him, when you were sick. No need to be jealous of your brother. Maybe you father should check in for treatment next time.

[orangyred]

I totally feel for you, seesaw. My dad...yeah, well, he's been gone 20 years now and at some point I let it go. I wish I knew how! Geez it would come in helpful right now with some stuff. However, I'm guessing I would be still stewing at him if he was still alive. I still have plenty of the same feeling towards other family members as well. It's very hard to let it go...the bitterness, the anger, the expectancy of them being more accepting of me (I feel like the black sheep).

I have at times found it helpful to write out a letter to someone who is the object of my current wrath. It helps to write it like I'd actually send it. But I never, ever have. It helps sometimes. It just an idea.

[H3rmit]

I can truly and deeply relate to your anger about being neglected by a parent, treated unfairly and overlooked in relation to a sibling. The same thing happened to me with my mum and sister, so I really get you.

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry that your dad wasn't there for you when you needed him to be. Some people just can't relate to mental health issues.

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[CopperStar]

Are you the scapegoat child, while your brother is the golden child? I've had a couple therapists tell me that the scapegoat child is typically targeted because they are the truth-teller in the family. So chances are that you sacrificed a lot of fake-*** 'love' from your dysfunctional father, in exchange for speaking the truth. Frankly you should be proud.

^Exactly. I was the only female in a family of Narcissists. My brothers were always favored and never got "punished" for their alcohol, drug, legal etc behavior. I am the bipolar and the best behaved of all. I am the put in the caretaker role and never supposed to have needs.

I understand your hurt.

[seesaw]

For a very long time in my younger days, when my brother was a drug addict (which some of my PTSD issues are from) I was the golden child. But as I got older and began having issues of my own, and yes, began telling the truth about what our family was like, I became the scapegoat child, the black sheep. But you know, my dad and stepmom are quick to blame their problems in life on everyone else instead of taking any personal responsibility.