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#1
Jul 30, 2015, 10:05 PM
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My life is horrible. All I ever wanted of my adult family life was a loving husband, good kids, a nice home, and good jobs. All I got was an abusive cheating husband first marriage, with an ODD, ADHD kid. Remarried a man my parents approved of and he was lazy, uninterested, etc. We had a child and she is the good kid I wanted but he got custody in the divorce, because I lost my mind. I taught her to ride her bike, I taught her a lot of things, because he's neglectful. Now I'm losing contact because my new husband has completely destroyed any ounce of normalcy I had.
I don't know what to do anymore, I'm tired of fighting an endless battle of just trying to be normal. I'll never have the life I wanted. And I'm tired, I just want it to end. I'm legally homeless, married to a man who is not affectionate, withhold sex, belittles me which he considers constructive criticism. I really hate the choices I have made leading me off course in life, and I'm 41 now. My hope is gone. No one will hire me, I'm always broke, my family hates me, I'm a complete pain in their ***, as well as a financial drain, for which they have cut me off. Part of me wants cervical cancer because that's generally a killer, or so I thought. Recent research says otherwise. Living is so hard. Even if I divorce the 3rd husband, where would I go? My family wont help me out of any more messes I've created. My credit is gone, can't even get bankruptcy filed, so what housing can i get? I'm falling apart, physically and emotionally. I prayed to zGod to take me. I just want out.
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Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.  Daughter: 20  Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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#2
Jul 31, 2015, 01:06 PM
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I'm sorry life hasn't turned out the way you planned. Mine hasn't turned out the way I planned either.
All I can tell you is that as long as we are live it is always possible for things to get better. Mine has been up and down now for 63 years and right now doesn't seem too good but I have faith that it can turn around. I went through Breast cancer and survived. I've had times where I have been suicidal but I'm glad I let those times pass without acting on them as I would have missed a lot of good things along the way. I hope things get better for you soon. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
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