[PianogirlPlays]

It seems like everyday there is some painful experience that really hurts. The pain leads to anger, painful thoughts that make things worse, physical pain and it makes it even harder to get well and feel better. This is really hampering my progress. I work at and go to the counselor to get better and then get really wounded by my family or my own temptations to food. I keep reminding myself that the food is probably the only thing I can control but I eat because of the pain. This is a terrible circle of pain.

[Skeezyks]

Hello PianogirlPlays: Yes, this sounds familiar. I just pretty-much keep to myself. And the reason is that I just don't seem to be able to handle myself in social situations. Every time I get involved in any type of social situation, it seems like I do or say something that either gets me into trouble or embarrasses me in some way or other. I've only been back here on PC for a few days now. And already I've done something which has embarrassed me mightily!

I am a poor, pathetic student of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. Ani Pema teaches that it is those things about ourselves we most despise that are our treasure. We can use these things as a basis for developing compassion for ourselves &, by extension, for others. So I'm trying to look at my most recent self-humiliation as being not something I should try to forget, or hide from, but as a teacher who has come into my life in order to help me as I continue my efforts to develop compassion for my miserable self. I still have a long way to go...

I send you warm wishes for success as you continue with your efforts to progress...

I agree about the food. I should be able to control it but it relieves the pain of depression and emotional hurt.

Right now I am going through a great deal of painful emotions. I say painful because they physically make me hurt. My body is stiff and sore and full of tensions. Even walking across the room hurts. Even trying to get comfortable to read a book. It hurts.

I do some of my yoga stretches and get a bit of relief but as soon as my mind wanders back to the source of my grief I hurt again. But I force myself to do them. It helps a little but a little is better than constant hurt.