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Old Oct 20, 2015, 05:58 AM
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PerfectlyImperfect41 PerfectlyImperfect41 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: 'Reality'
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I'm invisible no one see!

Its hard to keep in touch with what is happening around me and not worry to much. I know I'm going to be punished but I have so many questions about Christianity! It seems the world is all about man-made rules, it became so important to us to impress people and to be accepted by them.

Where did I go wrong? Where are the old me? I feel everybody is better than me, I lost my way!

I can not help thinking about s°°t like; if I die, would they even care? When they look at me, what do they see? Do they see the tears I fight to hold inside or the self inflicted scars on my body that will never go away (a reminder to myself how bad a person I have become) or that I'm trying to appear 'normal'?

People see a wife, mother, daughter and sister, but I'm so much more. I'm; sad, jealous, insane, unpredictable, rude, selfish, irrational, complicated, etc.! They say I need to change, be 'positive', stop 'thinking' so much, be thankful there are people who have it worse than you! I'm not naïve, I know there are other people who have it worse than me!

But, what about the real me the 'here and now me' the 'everyday me'?
The women who never seems to get anything right, that's not good enough, not pretty enough, not interesting, the women who break down every second day! I'm like a roller coaster no consistency always up and down and I have no clue why. I try so hard to fight away my thoughts and doubts, but it always find their way back to me!!

To speak my mind is to be a fool for I know I'm judged for the way I think and feel!
So for now I will just try to sit 'tight', 'shut up' and let it be!

Waiting for that 'one' day it'll all be over..........
Hugs from:
Alone & confused, avlady, darkpurplesecrets, Fuzzybear, littleowl2006

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  #2  
Old Oct 20, 2015, 09:21 AM
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Alone & confused Alone & confused is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 1,474
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sun-no-Shine View Post
I'm invisible no one see!

Its hard to keep in touch with what is happening around me and not worry to much. I know I'm going to be punished but I have so many questions about Christianity! It seems the world is all about man-made rules, it became so important to us to impress people and to be accepted by them.

Where did I go wrong? Where are the old me? I feel everybody is better than me, I lost my way!

I can not help thinking about s°°t like; if I die, would they even care? When they look at me, what do they see? Do they see the tears I fight to hold inside or the self inflicted scars on my body that will never go away (a reminder to myself how bad a person I have become) or that I'm trying to appear 'normal'?

People see a wife, mother, daughter and sister, but I'm so much more. I'm; sad, jealous, insane, unpredictable, rude, selfish, irrational, complicated, etc.! They say I need to change, be 'positive', stop 'thinking' so much, be thankful there are people who have it worse than you! I'm not naïve, I know there are other people who have it worse than me!

But, what about the real me the 'here and now me' the 'everyday me'?
The women who never seems to get anything right, that's not good enough, not pretty enough, not interesting, the women who break down every second day! I'm like a roller coaster no consistency always up and down and I have no clue why. I try so hard to fight away my thoughts and doubts, but it always find their way back to me!!

To speak my mind is to be a fool for I know I'm judged for the way I think and feel!
So for now I will just try to sit 'tight', 'shut up' and let it be!

Waiting for that 'one' day it'll all be over..........
Well, you can speak your mind here with no judgement. You're among people who understand how you feel here. I hope things get better for you!
Hugs from:
avlady, PerfectlyImperfect41
Thanks for this!
PerfectlyImperfect41
  #3  
Old Oct 20, 2015, 12:24 PM
avlady avlady is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: angola ny
Posts: 9,803
Alone and confused got it right, you can vent here without judging!!! what i think is that there is nothing really the matter with you, everybody gets upset sometimes, you are too hard on yourself. i know if anybody saw me a mess they'd be like i guess i'm not so bad myself. i just got out of the hospital after a 4 day med change and saw alot of people worse off then i was. so keep your chin up and nip it in the bud. good luck
Hugs from:
PerfectlyImperfect41
  #4  
Old Oct 20, 2015, 01:55 PM
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Thunder Bow Thunder Bow is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 5,630
Do not judge yourself as well. Understand yourself instead.
Thanks for this!
PerfectlyImperfect41
  #5  
Old Oct 29, 2015, 08:37 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
I agree with all the above

(you aren't invisible here )

Btw other peoples opinions don't actually matter. Have you heard the expression - Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one

Wishing you peace and healing, you deserve it
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  #6  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 09:19 AM
PerfectlyImperfect41's Avatar
PerfectlyImperfect41 PerfectlyImperfect41 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: 'Reality'
Posts: 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I agree with all the above

(you aren't invisible here )

Btw other peoples opinions don't actually matter. Have you heard the expression - Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one

Wishing you peace and healing, you deserve it
I never heard this expression before, it is a good one and it made me smile! Thank you for the suggestion regarding posting under the depression forum to start with, I do appreciate it!

Keep well....
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear
  #7  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 12:32 PM
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Thunder Bow Thunder Bow is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 5,630
Religion is all about control and social order. All you will find there is more judgement and control. Those who judge remain ignorant, those who understand has knowledge.
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear
  #8  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 02:40 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
"Those who judge remain ignorant" - THIS IS SO TRUE



Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunder Bow View Post
Religion is all about control and social order. All you will find there is more judgement and control. Those who judge remain ignorant, those who understand has knowledge.
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  #9  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 03:10 PM
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PerfectlyImperfect41 PerfectlyImperfect41 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: 'Reality'
Posts: 77
That's words well spoken, thank you Thunder Bow
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