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#1
Oct 20, 2015, 05:58 AM
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I'm invisible no one see!
Its hard to keep in touch with what is happening around me and not worry to much. I know I'm going to be punished but I have so many questions about Christianity! It seems the world is all about man-made rules, it became so important to us to impress people and to be accepted by them. Where did I go wrong? Where are the old me? I feel everybody is better than me, I lost my way! I can not help thinking about s°°t like; if I die, would they even care? When they look at me, what do they see? Do they see the tears I fight to hold inside or the self inflicted scars on my body that will never go away (a reminder to myself how bad a person I have become) or that I'm trying to appear 'normal'? People see a wife, mother, daughter and sister, but I'm so much more. I'm; sad, jealous, insane, unpredictable, rude, selfish, irrational, complicated, etc.! They say I need to change, be 'positive', stop 'thinking' so much, be thankful there are people who have it worse than you! I'm not naïve, I know there are other people who have it worse than me! But, what about the real me the 'here and now me' the 'everyday me'? The women who never seems to get anything right, that's not good enough, not pretty enough, not interesting, the women who break down every second day! I'm like a roller coaster no consistency always up and down and I have no clue why. I try so hard to fight away my thoughts and doubts, but it always find their way back to me!! To speak my mind is to be a fool for I know I'm judged for the way I think and feel! So for now I will just try to sit 'tight', 'shut up' and let it be! Waiting for that 'one' day it'll all be over.......... |
 Alone & confused, avlady, darkpurplesecrets, Fuzzybear, littleowl2006
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#2
Oct 20, 2015, 09:21 AM
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Quote:
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| avlady, PerfectlyImperfect41
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 PerfectlyImperfect41
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#3
Oct 20, 2015, 12:24 PM
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Alone and confused got it right, you can vent here without judging!!! what i think is that there is nothing really the matter with you, everybody gets upset sometimes, you are too hard on yourself. i know if anybody saw me a mess they'd be like i guess i'm not so bad myself. i just got out of the hospital after a 4 day med change and saw alot of people worse off then i was. so keep your chin up and nip it in the bud. good luck
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| PerfectlyImperfect41
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#4
Oct 20, 2015, 01:55 PM
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Do not judge yourself as well. Understand yourself instead.
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| PerfectlyImperfect41
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#5
Oct 29, 2015, 08:37 PM
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I agree with all the above
 (you aren't invisible here  )Btw other peoples opinions don't actually matter. Have you heard the expression - Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one  Wishing you peace and healing, you deserve it
__________________
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#6
Oct 30, 2015, 09:19 AM
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Quote:
! Thank you for the suggestion regarding posting under the depression forum to start with, I do appreciate it! Keep well.... |
| Fuzzybear
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#7
Oct 30, 2015, 12:32 PM
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Religion is all about control and social order. All you will find there is more judgement and control. Those who judge remain ignorant, those who understand has knowledge.
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| Fuzzybear
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#8
Oct 30, 2015, 02:40 PM
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"Those who judge remain ignorant" - THIS IS SO TRUE
   Quote:
__________________
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#9
Oct 30, 2015, 03:10 PM
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That's words well spoken, thank you Thunder Bow
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