[StillIntending]

So just tonight I had this idea.

I don't know about anyone else, but I have a major problem with accepting aspects of myself at face value. That's not to say that I feel like every aspect of myself should be considered ok by default—I'm Christian. I believe in sin. But even the sinful parts of myself, and the things in me that aren't necessarily sin, but still things I consider flaws, need to be acknowledged. I can't fix it if I refuse to accept that it is there.

So I've decided to write down one random fact about myself daily. Not whether I think it's good or bad. Just the fact—whether it's an emotion I have, or an action I do instinctively, or something else entirely. Just write it down and accept that it exists.

If anyone else wants to do this, they're welcome to share here, or to write these things down privately as I plan to. It's just an idea I had that I thought maybe could benefit other people too.

This is very much like one aspect of Cognative Behaviour Therapy - which is a way of converting one's negative thoughts into positive. I have homework this week which is very much like this only I am to write down both the positive AND negative thoughts about myself. I suppose next week we will address these or perhaps they will reflect the goals we are to set up for the program (i am just 2wks into it).

The negative are easy and the positive hard - but I AM coming up with them and correspondingly I seem to have had a better week. I have beat myself up less.

[StillIntending]

Originally Posted by rcat

This is very much like one aspect of Cognative Behaviour Therapy - which is a way of converting one's negative thoughts into positive. I have homework this week which is very much like this only I am to write down both the positive AND negative thoughts about myself. I suppose next week we will address these or perhaps they will reflect the goals we are to set up for the program (i am just 2wks into it).

The negative are easy and the positive hard - but I AM coming up with them and correspondingly I seem to have had a better week. I have beat myself up less.

Really? Well then I guess it was a good idea I had. Someday when I'm an adult I probably plan to go to a professional, but for now I'm pretty much on my own. So I'm left to scour the Internet for information on depression, coping, and general psychology in an attempt to fix myself, by myself (and one friend who helps me, but he's hardly professional).
Anyway.
I think if I wrote two lists like that, the negative would be easier for me, too. See, I'm extremely prideful, but I also suffer from a lot of self-hate. I may be able to find something in me I consider positive, but I'd ask myself if I was only thinking that because I was prideful, and then the positive thing would turn into just getting upset about the pride again.
That's why in the version I came up with, I'm trying not to group my traits into categories of "negative" and "positive." That will no doubt come later if I decide to look back and try to change my negative behaviors. For now however, I simply need to accept that they are traits of mine. I think, for me at least, that's probably the first step of healing.

[PianogirlPlays]

I try very hard but have let negative events kind of swamp me. I like to keep trying though to hold on, stand up and keep going.