can anyone explain this endless missing

i am in a long distance friendship, and i miss my friend even if im talking to him. can anyone explain this?

That is normal. Can you two work an meeting each other some time in the future?

How does the feeling differ when you are speaking with him versus when you are not speaking with him?

Are you able to video chat?

So much of communication is via the nuances of body language. While you still 'miss something' via video chat it certainly improves communication.

when i speak with him i feel loveydovey safeness and fluffyness, but it always feels like im missing something. i get anxious, and think my life is basically a lie. that hurts the most. and that's why im getting into alot of fights with him i think. i suddenly call him spoiled for no reason, i didn't ever mean to, and then we get in a cycle: he's pulling away, im getting mad, he's hurt, i'm hurt but realise i already fcked it up and get anxious to lose him then try to convince hiim that i didn't mean it, ofcourse he doesn't believe, and then i get desperate and have no clue what to say.

when i don't talk to him i get really depressed, and think the only thing in the world that matters is being happily ever after (not literally, but atleast better than it goes now). i try to think of ways that we could be together again, one way or another.

i don't know how to do this anymore. everyone tells me to let go, but i can't. there's even a possibility he's gay because he never had a girlfriend: only on the internet. i wouldn't mind, i would even find it cute. but it gives me a powerless feeling that i can't be with him.

i hope this was a good explanation.

hahaha no while videochat i can't get anything out of my mouth. im so nervous that everyone there is talking but im like: ... ... ...
but i still miss abit actually. it's only less.
one time i voicechatted and after i was like: what the heck did i do, wait i will forget it quickly.
not on purpose, but i think my mind made that process because i couldn't remember anything of what we talked about xDD

I can relate I miss my friend everyday �� and he lives 5 minutes away from me. I'm sending you hugs and i hope you get to see your friend soon.