Feelings...? Do I have those?

I come across to most/all people as cool/cold and lacking emotion. Most people like me because I've learned how to be social, etc. However, my therapist told me today that s/he thought that most of the time I don't feel anything. S/he's right, so it didn't really hurt my feelings, but it was very hard for me to hear. I don't always know what I feel, which doesn't help, but showing my feelings seems impossible. I think I'm afraid that if I show what I feel, people will walk away from me. My T knows this...we've talked about it multiple times. Still, I can't seem to let go - I don't want to take the chance people will abandon me.

How does one get to the place of taking a chance to show their emotions?

Hi I am sorry you have trouble expressing your emotions. That is not always a simple thing to change.

Here are some tips that may help.
10 Reasons You Can?t Say How You Feel | Psych Central

Thank you for your response and the link you sent. I read all of the points made in the article, but have the feeling that my inability to express emotions goes deeper/further back than how I behave today in specific situations. My sense is that my problem originated in how I formed attachments to my parents - neither were available much of the time. I can verbalize (much easier than showing) how I feel. It's almost as if my amygdala and right frontal cortex have been short-circuited somewhere. My T wants me to scream, cry, rage...do something other than just telling her/him how I feel. After posting last night, this a.m. I feel ashamed that I can't do what my T wants me to do, almost like I'm defective in some way.

I do appreciate your help...I'll reread what you sent and see if something resonates with me now that I'm trying to dig deeper. There's a lot of emotion in me...if I can just get close enough to really feel it.

I can tell you are sincerely interested in opening up but forcing things has never helped me. Rather I am trying to relax with yoga and mindfulness practice.

I also find creative expression such as art, music, writing helps me go to deeper places than I can go in conversation.

I am happy to continue this conversation. Feel free to reply or send a private message. I feel I have some common ground with what you are saying.

When we are children we idolise our parents,we watch
everything they do or say and we copy it; so much so,
we want to BECOME just like them. You have done
this perfectly,now you need to undo it.
Is there someone
you can WRITE to,to practice expressing your feelings?
Don't look to have a once and for all cure,start with little things and work your way up. Even write to little
you,telling her where she learned it from,and that it is
inappropriate now; that neither your parents or someone
else will punish her for being who she REALLY is.
Also,look for books on assertiveness,there you will learn you have a RIGHT to speak up!
Courage To You,
BLUEDOVE
P.S. Please do NOT call dear self U.D.