[-jimi-]

I just can't accept. I find it impossible. I think until my brain hurts for answers. But when things can't be fixed?

I had to give up on a friend who stopped taking care of himself. He felt like he simply didn't need to, others could do things for him while he was eating himself to death. At the same time starving, refusing anything with nutrients. It took me years to accept it. That I had to let go. That someone that once was able, choose to drug himself into something no one can recognize, with food and tons and tons of narcotic prescription meds his doc is pushing.

I tried to "save" him, for old time sakes. I regret any effort now. But it is hard letting go. But I finally managed.

My other friends who are in trouble (and yes it does have to happen at the same time for some reason), want to live, but it seems like they are not allowed. One was kicked out of psych care and is not allowed to return (we can't choose whom we see here, and you cannot force a doc to see you). She desperately needs help. She has suffered so long now from depression and very extreme anxiety. I've read all the rules and laws and no, she doesn't have rights. Still, I'm very surprised she managed this far in the bad shape she is in. I worry about her. But I can only be a friend, not a doctor or a therapist.

A third friend is going to be banished from my country on false grounds. I have looked into everything it seems, chased every dang loophole but everything I find when looking closer, I realize will not work. I can't fix it. She will be sent to die whether it will be war, starvation or assault. It really tears me apart, shreds me. I. Can't. Stop. This. From. Happening.

There is so much suffering and I cannot do a thing.

How can anyone accept what must happen? Because of inhumane rules in one case and corruption in the other. What takes my breath away is that they don't have to die per se, they are not yet physically ill or dying. Yet they stand no real chance.

Of course it is worst for THEM. Nothing make it as hard for me as it is to them. Still I so so so need to DO something, and I already tried what I could. How do I deal with having no power over this?

[Melmo]

I know what you mean. It's not the same thing but Im vegan. When I see videos of how animals are treated in factory farms, I feel so angry and helpless to do anything. It's not right, and I get so mad knowing people either don't care or say "they're just animals."

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(((hugs)))

[Thunder Bow]

Sometimes more harm than good can be done trying to "Rescue" someone. You do have the power to take care of yourself, and that's all you can do. As you found out, trying to Rescue others has it limitations. You can be helpful and kind, but you can't rescue people.

Jimi, if you are not religious then remove the first word of this prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

The examples you quote are really heartbreaking ones, you sound like a very caring friend. Your friends must really appreciate having you as a friend, if you asked them they probably wouldn't expect you to fix things for them, your caring attitude and willingness to help is probably the most important thing to them.

[-jimi-]

IDK if meaning well means anything to a girl who will be sent back into a war zone to maybe be kidnapped by ISIS or die in a bomb raid.

I seriously CAN'T let that happen no matter if it is "possible" or not to save her. No, I'm not a particularly good friend, but people who would just shrug a situation like that off and go on with their own life is a dang psychopath! Not even a bad friend.