Emotions are ruining my life

Hi everyone,

I'm new here, but I could really use some input. I'm open to most suggestions at this point.

I honesty feel like emotions ruin my life. Intense depression makes me feel miserable (even if there's no reason for me to be sad I feel intense loneliness), I am afraid of or phobic of things I want to try, I am a naturally curious person open to new experiences but phobias stop me from exploring things and being my best (I have intense vomit phobia and so I won't try exotic foods anymore due to a fear of contamination/food poisoning), and now there's a good chance I won't be able to pursue my dream career anymore because of my depression/tendency to physically and emotionally internalize stress. I am so sick of being an emotional person and I'm having a lot of trouble finding the good in it. I feel like if I had a (preferably non-pharmaceutical) way to regulate my emotions and anxiety and I had a better ability to not dwell on things I could finally reach my potential, both personally and professionally.

I have been prescribed several drugs in the past (Lexapro, Strattera, Ritalin, Pamelor, Buspar) and I had severe side-effects that made me worse (Strattera and Ritalin both sent me to the ER in normal, maintenance doses). Buspar really helped me on a very small dose (1/6 the normal dose) but I had to give it up because authorities regulating my top career pursuit have banned it. Plus, I have several medication/food allergies and I'm a very sensitive person in general, so I try to avoid medicines if possible. Having lived in Europe with a slower-paced life, a better support network, less stress, more nutritious food, and much more physical activity, I enjoyed fantastic mental and physical health and felt "cured" of my depression and anxiety without medications. So I'm not convinced medications are the answer for me. I am starting therapy next week but I've noticed in the past the best way for me to get over from my phobias is to expose myself to them.

Please let me know if you have suggestions. I am a very happy, spunky, adventurous, people-liking person when I'm at my best, but I'm way too emotional, needy, and anxious at my worst. I want to get back to my old self if possible.

Thank you, and have a good day!

Hi lilwings. Welcome to Psych Central. So sorry you are suffering from multiple challenges. Glad you turned to Psych Central.

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Friday at 8PM EST.

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

For me lifestyle changes fit big in my recovery hopes.

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression. Oftentimes I was near panic and I took a scheduled break and had some protein and voila I could cope so much better at work.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Meds treat the imbalances in the brain. Some have only minor side affects. Combo of meds and talk therapy are a good option for some people. It may help if you are in free online support or therapy and taking meds to help. A psychiatrist if available might offer more expertise in med treatment programs. If not just keep your doc informed of any side affects or if med not helping.

Hello lilwings86: Welcome to PsychCentral! You know... personally... I believe that a lot of the troubles I have had in my life were due to me trying to be someone I wasn't & trying to do things I wanted to do but wasn't suited for. There is an author by the name of Parker J. Palmer whom I very much enjoy reading. And in one of his books he wrote that before we decide what we want to do with our lives, we should ask our lives what it is they intend to do with us. In other words, before we set a course for ourselves we should give serious consideration to what are our strengths & weaknesses. We all have both. No one is good at everything.

That said, I would simply like to suggest that you may well have answered your own question in what you wrote in your post. You had a fantastic life when you lived in Europe. Now I'm not suggesting you move back to Europe... but perhaps the answer for you is to try, to the greatest extent possible, to organize your life now in such a way that you re-create the environments you had there. And also perhaps take a second look at your vocational goals. Perhaps the goal you have chosen for yourself is just not one to which you are emotionally suited. No matter how much you may desire it now, if it continuously aggravates your depression & anxiety, you will have a long & difficult work life. I can say this with confidence because it is what I did. Anyway... these are my thoughts. I wish you well.

Welcome to PC Forums (((hugs)))

You're right about the environment sometimes if there is a problem with a flower blooming you fix the environment that surround it not the flower.
Anyway as you know most tribal societies have no chronic depression and little mental illness so yes it's not always about meds and imbalances.
Create a meaningful life and try not to dwell too much on everything.

Thanks to everyone for your insight!