Being alone in itself is painful. But you sometimes act out of desperation and loneliness and do something stupid because no one was there for you to warn you about it, while you were having moments of misjudgment, just to add to your pain.

[Lazarus16]

True but it also has great benefits. One of the best times of my life was all by myself. Being able to what I wanted to do, when I wanted to, gave me a new understand of the world ''freedom''. It also helps to find the real you, make peace with your past, accomplish old dreams, stop being a nice guy, there are a ton of benefits! But like with all things, there must be a balance. I don't think it's healthy to spend an entire life, alone, there must be a balance. I guess it's different for everyone but for me, spending 2 years alone was like those monks in the tibetan mountains, it brought a new meaning to my life and put me back on the right track.

Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. If you're happy with being alone, that will be fine. But if you aren't, then you'll feel lonely and depressed. I spent many years alone, and I read many books during that period. I tolerated that in the hope of something different in the future. But then I didn't see any change. So, my hope is gone now, and desperation took over. And believe me, when desperate, you could do things that you'll regret all of your life.

(((WanderingSoul)))

I hope you will come and post here if you have those feelings of loneliness, maybe it will help you to feel less alone.

[Lazarus16]

Originally Posted by Wandering Soul

Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. If you're happy with being alone, that will be fine. But if you aren't, then you'll feel lonely and depressed. I spent many years alone, and I read many books during that period. I tolerated that in the hope of something different in the future. But then I didn't see any change. So, my hope is gone now, and desperation took over. And believe me, when desperate, you could do things that you'll regret all of your life.

Oh, I agree with you Wandering Soul, trust me, I did my fair share of thing I regretted for some time. One time I sent a picture of myself with a knife to my throat and threatened one of my ex to stay with me or I'd kill myself. It was during one of the all-time low of my life, I was so hurting, I completly lost it.

The good news is that we can all recover, I'm the living proof but yes, when desperation take over, it's almost never a good thing (except in sports and some people accomplish huge upsets when in despair).

Take good care of you Wandering Soul, I can only tell you that I know that you have it in you, hope is life so once you'll have regained hope, you'll see, anything is possible! Take it one day at a time, talk with people, seek help, read books, do things that you like, keep all negativity out of your life and you'll make it, I'm sure you will!

[shabur]

My sister and I are Irish twins; I am the older one. With the exception of my years in college, we have always lived together. We shared a room as children and chose to live together as adults.

After around 20 years, she told me she was going to move in with her girlfriend (partner). I felt broken and lost. I was already in another deep depressive episode, and I just couldn't handle it, but I never said anything to her.

Yes, there were times I liked when she was gone and I had the place to myself, but I liked having someone there. Someone who had dinner ready when I came home, someone to hang out with, someone to talk with. We had mutual friends and had them over often. I really enjoyed living with her, but I knew there would come a day when one of us would leave.

I was standing on the back porch, tears in my eyes, as the movers took the last of her things to the truck. She came out and put her arm around me telling me it would be ok. She was only going to be 2 blocks away and I could come over often. She has since moved about a half hour away so I don't see her as often.

She was doing something that made her happy and I have always wanted that for her. She was in love and ready to make that commitment to her partner, but that didn't help how I felt about losing her.

She's married now with 2 kids. While talking to her on the phone she'll say to me "it's so nice to have the house to herself". I tell her to be careful what she wishes for.

I still feel lonely living by myself. I had to give up our cleaning lady and sending out my laundry and it's hard to get myself to do these things for myself.

My depression, anxiety, ... have become so persistent I am on disability. My sister's moving out is only a small portion of this, but I miss her. We shared a room as children and lived together as a adults. I have not had a closer relationship than I have had with her.

[Jan1212]

Wandering friend I am also trying to cope being a single parent. I miss being able to tell my partner about anything and I miss the caring hugs along with the lows of a relationship.

I needed to separate because I needed to take care of myself and my child, it's tough to find out why I'm unhappy, it's tough to find the source. I want to be happy while independent but at this moment I'm not..

please DO NOT quote ANY SELECTION of my post. thank you. have a good day.

[Skeezyks]

Hi Wandering Soul: I guess I would have to admit that I'm never truly alone in the sense some people are because I am married (although I do often feel very alone. There is never any discussion of my mental health struggles. I bear them silently... alone.) Still... I'm not physically alone the way some people are. My kind of aloneness carries its own burdens. But when it comes right down to it, I don't have to worry that if I had a heart attack or a stroke, no one would find me for a week. It must make a difference. Yet I have done many things certainly out of desperation. To what extent my own personal kind of loneliness played a part I don't know. But it is true that in all my life, I never found anyone else sufficiently like myself that I could call them a friend. And now I simply keep entirely to myself. Thanks for your post. It made me think...

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hi Wandering Soul: I guess I would have to admit that I'm never truly alone in the sense some people are because I am married (although I do often feel very alone. There is never any discussion of my mental health struggles. I bear them silently... alone.) Still... I'm not physically alone the way some people are. My kind of aloneness carries its own burdens. But when it comes right down to it, I don't have to worry that if I had a heart attack or a stroke, no one would find me for a week. It must make a difference. Yet I have done many things certainly out of desperation. To what extent my own personal kind of loneliness played a part I don't know. But it is true that in all my life, I never found anyone else sufficiently like myself that I could call them a friend. And now I simply keep entirely to myself. Thanks for your post. It made me think...

My aim of the thread was to say, out of desperation, people could do things, that if they had someone just to argue about them, probably they will change their minds in doing them. But when you are desperate and have no one around you, you could do bad things, given your weak state of mind and misjudgment. Usually people help each others in a way that if you're in a weak state of mind, but someone else isn't, he/she could help you or at least try to talk to you about it and convince you not to do it, and vice versa. So, it's not only the pain of loneliness that you'll have when you're alone, but the pain of mistakes that you've done.

[Bpd26]

Originally Posted by Wandering Soul

Being alone in itself is painful. But you sometimes act out of desperation and loneliness and do something stupid because no one was there for you to warn you about it, while you were having moments of misjudgment, just to add to your pain.

This is so true, it's so painful to be alone, I often think of how much fun the people I feel put me in that situation are having, behind my back. That hurts the most