Overwhelmed by being a teen

I just graduated from an all girl high school yesterday. I'm usually out going and flexible, well actually.. I used to be.

I kept being afraid talking to popular girls even though they think of me as the same 'league', and also as a threat. I can't approach and be apporached by them in any way. My eyes will not look at them, my voice will become shaky, and i end up looking like an arrogant and awkwardly weird person.. My juniors somehow idolize me so they bought and also made lots of gifts for me. I was speechless and very grateful, but that made my friends hate me even more. And it's the last day of my high school year, i thought.I kept on thinking yesterday I didn't took enough photo and stupid things like that. I just want to feel like a normal teen girl, post happy pictures together with my friends. I stand out alone, idk if that's a good thing or not, but i do feel pretty lonely.. I want to have that happiness of having lots of friends so badly. I feel hated by all dominant people around me. Yes, only the loud dominant ones.

I'm constantly feeling depressed because of this. My hands have been shaking badly since this morning thinking about all of these, i also don't know why.

What's exactly wrong with me I went to a therapist and all that, they said I'm fine. But this is definitely not right. This feeling has been stuck with me since 7 years ago, and i sometimes feel like wanting to end my life. Such an overwhelming emotion that i can't really explain and it ruins my life.

Btw, i also think of my problem as pathetic.. So please don't tell me i'm thinking way too much about all of this. I just want to stop all this feelings and be happy. Currently, i just can't. I can't control it. Pls let me know what you think about my problem, or maybe a solution for it peharps.

Hello Chocopiano27: I'm sorry you are struggling & I certainly won't tell you you're thinking too much about this. Unfortunately I also don't really have any solutions to offer you either. You mentioned that you saw a therapist who said you were fine. I had this experience as well many years ago.

Two things occur to me. First... you know... sadly... it can take some time to find the right therapist. I've seen several over the years & none of them were of much value to me I'm afraid. But people do find good therapists. I've read posts, here on PC, written by members who said their therapists saved their lives. It may be that you simply need to keep looking for a better therapist. I know that's a pain. But it is the reality of the situation.

The other thing I wonder about is how forthright you were able to be with the therapist you saw. Sometimes individuals are hesitant to really talk about what's going on with them... especially at first. One of the problems I've had with therapists has been there are simply things I won't talk about. So I know what any therapist could do for me would always be limited no matter how skilled they were. Of course, a skilled therapist is going to realize you need time to feel comfortable talking about difficult things... which brings me back to what I mentioned above as far as finding the right therapist goes. One who simply tells you you're fine is probably not someone who can be of much help under any circumstances.

Anyway, these are my thoughts with regard to your post. I wish you well...