And that quick, the calm disappears again!

Hi. I was feeling calm having had a good day then... I'm sitting here surfing the web and came across a blog about what to send in a care package and realized I haven't sent my daughter anything but a birthday card w/ some money in it and she's been gone almost a year. We've talked almost every day but it isn't enough! She's 17 and this past year is the first time we've been apart for so long. I fell on hard times and she went to live with her oldest brother. She'll be back on the 8th of June and I'm a horrible mom! I never have known how to be an absent parent. I don't write, or send care packages. I just feel incredibly guilty all of the time!!! I don't know how to fix any thing that is going on with me!! Just how to feel like crap about it all! What in the hell? Why does that happen to me?? I was FINE Dammit!!! Just ****ing fine. Now I'm tripping out wondering how I'm ever going to explain to her, apologize to her, for not sending ****ing packages!! OMG I ****ing hate this. I cant stand these feelings

Hi GAGypsy: I'm afraid the Skeezyks is no one to offer advice of any kind in this regard... But I wish you well...

GAGypsy,
You can start today to reconnect with your daughter. Little things make a difference...email or send a letter or card for no reason other than to tell her you are thinking about her. You have been through a tough time, but you can reconnect with her. Don't let anxiety trick you into believing this is who you are and don't let how you feel keep you from reconnecting. You are a good person doing the best you can through hard times.