More emotions

Had a talk with friends/roommates who I've known for a year and started being roommates today. There was a talk about my attitude there was a suggestion of helping someone else out to clean their house. Yes I frown they go help whoever needs it.

I do agree I have a chip on my shoulder and shouldn't have done that didn't think I should be happy to clean. Anyway there was a talk about my age not having much to show for anything. Looking at my age yes I do agree I have no kids and want to do right for myself so I can be stable with full time job and income in new place then get my own place later on.

The truth really did hurt I still need to grieve and forgive myself not doing better a long time ago. I'm crying typing this out I had no guidance a long time ago really had no road map of being an independent adult. I'm only 30 I realized I need to start over especially job wise trying to let go of my pride.

I hate myself for not doing better a long time ago I wish I could go back in time and do it right. I feel like a failure in my own life. I'm tired and hurting I just need to vent I'll reply tomorrow.

We have no control over the past, so there is no value in worrying about what is already history. We spend most of life learning and making the best choices with what we know and feel at the time. Don't hate yourself for being human.

You seem to have controlling roommates. This reflects on them, more than it has to do with your past troubles. Do not feel so bad about yourself, and set your limits with those roommates.

I was told what's up with my attitude not the first time I've been called out. To the above post I have spent my life making poor decisions without any structure and guidance. Yes I agree I need to focus on the future had to cry hard last night. Gotta keep working on the here and now.