[IamHere22]

I am going through a seperation with my wife after a mistake I have made, I am trying my hardest to rebuild our marriage. But, it's takinga major toll on me.. if anyone is interested in my story I'll gladly share it.

I scared myself today. I watch my son on the weekends, I have never even gotten annoyed with him. But, this morning he woke up very early, and I yelled at him for it. I said WHY ARE YOU UP SO EARLY! ?... I stopped myself and broke down, I was so upset with myself. After he left I went to work, I was leaving to do my normal rounds, when my srg asked me for a report from a traffic stop I conducted. I yelled at him saying... why don't you check your ******* mail box..

What is wrong with me??

[Skeezyks]

Hello IamHere22: I'm so sorry you are experiencing this sadness & difficulty. From what you wrote, it sounds to me as though you are simply overwhelmed by stress & anxiety. (I have struggled with a lot of anxiety over the years too.)

I've often likened the build-up of anxiety to the pressure that can build up in a closed steam heating system... (or perhaps a pressure cooker?) Somewhere within the system there has to be a release valve where the pressure can escape. Otherwise the pressure will build up to the point where it will find the weakest link in the system & blow out there. This is what, I suspect, is happening with you.

So, in some way or other, you have to find a way to allow the pressure the anxiety & stress you're under to be relieved... whether that be though individual counseling / therapy, some sort of group therapy, or via some other process. Writing more about what's happening in your life can also help. So continuing to post, here on PC, can help too. Our Personal Messaging system is also available for your use, should you want to share some of what's going on with you privately with another member. I wish you well...

[SvanThor]

What you're experiencing is anger displacement, and it's actually quite normal. Sad, but normal. Usually when we are upset we take it out on those we love most because we are comfortable around these people and know that they won't judge us too harshly. I'm very sorry about what you are going through and I am sending positive energy your way.

Skeezks - very well said.

I am Bipolar. I find I get very irritable when I am rising out of the gutter of Depression. It will happen as I am reaching a semblance of normalcy. I don't understand why this happens. It does so too at the beginning of a transition and upswing into hypo/mania. So too it will occur during the opposite stages of dropping into depression and anxiety. For some reason it goes hand in hand with a change in emotional extremes. Perhaps it is because I'm hypersensitive as I make such change.

[PenguinExMachina]

Skeezyks put it very well. Built up pressure from stress/anxiety/etc, it's like a shaken soda bottle. And it goes off at all the wrong moments.
For me, personally, I have found that humor is a good combatant to anger. Especially when I feel that pressure build up.
My therapist had me read a book called 'The Cow in the Parking Lot'. It was an interesting perspective.
Worth a look if you'd like.