Have I died inside? How can I regain my Emotions?

I believe it IS my emotions. that I had lost them. I used to be very energetic and creative. I could come up with a new story, drawing idea or character everyday. Music would speak to me, it would flurry my emotions and it would get me VERY creative, excited, and I could imagine different worlds, listening to different music. I was always sooo inspired and passionate. I cared about everyone, even strangers. I was also always so motivated and cared a LOT about my dreams. But then I got into a relationship with this girl and fell deeply in love to quickly. Things went downhill pretty quick (Note: It was long distance) and I honestly cried a lot. I couldn't handle the pain I was going through and one night it all just clicked and the majority of my emotions are gone. I can still feel, but not as strong, it is very faint. I tried listening to music again, but i just sat there, I couldn't feel my emotions reacting to it anymore. I don't want to, or feel to draw anymore. The story i was creating is pretty much dead now. I don't feel inspired or creative anymore. I just feel kinda blank and dull, grey. No more colors. Like the fire in my heart is just gone. I have moved on from her and the unfortunate event with this girl I was attached to. I have also tried to backtrack and regain my emotions, but I still feel dull, and I guess cold. Maybe I had died inside? That's my one of my biggest fears, I hope that may not be the case. Either way, how would I go about regaining my old self? The loving energetic, creative, passionate and compassionate me. The fire I had in my heart. My strong emotions. How can I get that all back?

Hello DeanLee: I'm sorry you are feeling so dull. From what you wrote, it sounds as if you have fallen into a state of depression. Losing interest in things one used to enjoy is pretty-much a classic symptom of depression. I'm afraid I don't have any particularly creative solutions to offer you either. Of course the usual remedies for depression are therapy, & if that is not enough, then antidepressant medication. (You probably knew that.)

Beyond that, perhaps what you need is simply to try to find something to fire yourself back up again. I don't know what that might be. You're probably going to have to figure that out for yourself. (This might be where seeing a counselor or therapist might be helpful.) A new relationship might do the trick. But relationships can be, frequently are, unpredictable. You could simply end up with another sad experience. It would probably be much better if you could find something you can once again feel passionate about that doesn't rely on another person. It could be something you previously loved, or perhaps something entirely new.

I know myself, when I come here to PsychCentral, sometimes it feels like just more of the same old thing. (I spend a lot of time here.) But I recognize the feeling & I don't let it get me down. I just start reading & replying to posts & pretty-soon my initial lack of enthusiasm lifts. You may find that you need to do something similar. You may simply have to pick something out to do, dig in, & start doing it even if it feels like a total bore. Then keep plugging away at it & see if, after a while, that initial feeling of ennui passes.

If you do dig into something but find yourself still just totally shut down, then that may be the point at which you really do need to seriously consider therapy & / or antidepressants. The one thing you really do not want to do is to simply allow yourself to continue to sink deeper & deeper into your current state of emotionlessness. That is a rut that will only continue to deepen over time. And, left untreated, it may get to the point where you simply can't get out of that rut at all. You don't want to go there, I'm quite certain. I wish you well...