[Sarmas]

I'm having a tough time with mixed emotions. I've recently told my T that I've had for 4 plus years that in not attending therapy anymore. My insurance was ending due to divorce and I had to justify the cost. My life has become more complicated for me and my children and I've had more stressors. One of my stressors was that I was for seeing the loss of my therapist. I knew that it would come to an end before I was ready to do so. I've hit some bumps on the road with life am so was looking for support from her I guess and she was not really there for me. That was enough justification to for me to end therapy now as opposed to waiting out another two weeks. It was more disheartening to find out that when I sent her the email telling her that I've decided to not attend session anymore that she answered me with an ok thanks and good luck. I now feel lost and I have no support system. I have no other family but my two boys. I have acquaintances but no real friends. Now I have no one to really talk to and I'm not sure what is right anymore. I would've totally tried to see how I would've paid for sessions with her if she would've shown interest but being that she was so detached then I figured that what was the point. I guess it is what it is. I feel very alone. I guess I have to tough this one out. My finances are up in the air and I'm just trying to make ends meet. I don't want to spend money on another therapist.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Sarmas: The Skeezyks has seen a few therapists for brief periods of time in the past. They ranged from mediocre to dreadful. None of them seemed to really care one way or another whether I showed up or not. I was just a source of income. Sometimes I think it would be nice to see someone. But I'm retired & on a fixed income. I don't have money simply to help support some therapist's lifestyle. So, like you, I'm just toughing it out one day after the next... Hope things begin to look up for you soon...

You're dealing with a lot of loss all at once...I'm sorry and I hope it gets easier.

I too had a not so stellar therapy experience. I felt that I invested so much of myself and didn't get anywhere with it (admitted I didn't give it a fair go...only about 6 months or so). I told her that I would not be back and didn't expand on that statement. I got about the same response you did.

I suppose I wanted what she didn't have to give. Whatever the reason, I was more hurt about the lack of care than I was about missing anything I could/would have learned.

I hope that, given some time, you can separate the feelings so that they're not one big lump of mess
I'm glad you have the kids to help you get through this. Keep posting.

[womanhorselvr]

I don't think the therapist can guess your expectations of her, why not tell her exactly how you hope the relationship would end, see how she responds before you get hurt

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello Sarmas: The Skeezyks has seen a few therapists for brief periods of time in the past. They ranged from mediocre to dreadful. None of them seemed to really care one way or another whether I showed up or not. I was just a source of income. Sometimes I think it would be nice to see someone. But I'm retired & on a fixed income. I don't have money simply to help support some therapist's lifestyle. So, like you, I'm just toughing it out one day after the next... Hope things begin to look up for you soon...

In the past if I canceled or if I wanted a therapy break she would try to talk me either out of it or through it. I've seen that she's been more distant for whatever reason and so now it seemed that when I mentioned my termination it almost seemed like an opportunity that she wanted to jump on. Now comes her busy time because her youngest starts school and she goes back to teaching either once or twice a week. Also most of her clients return during this time. Just expected more after four years. Especially with the fact that she's some of her life little events with me. She would talk about her family at times in session. Yes roughing it out is not as easy. I think prior to attending any type of therapy it was so much easier. Then with her I became attached and it was more difficult to pull away. I understand that it's a therpeutic relationship but was just expecting a different response. Her response is that it's not her role to make decisions about therapy and it's for me to decide and that if I don't talk then what's the point of going because otherwise I would be wasting my time. I wanted to reply back with a can you help me talk and due to her response and her recent behaviors I gave up. Perhaps it was best to end on that note than me trying to figure out how to pay for therapy and having to sacrifice more. It is a source of income to some but even with her I know she enjoys certain patients for sure. It's whether you're one of them or not. I get it.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

You're dealing with a lot of loss all at once...I'm sorry and I hope it gets easier.

I too had a not so stellar therapy experience. I felt that I invested so much of myself and didn't get anywhere with it (admitted I didn't give it a fair go...only about 6 months or so). I told her that I would not be back and didn't expand on that statement. I got about the same response you did.

I suppose I wanted what she didn't have to give. Whatever the reason, I was more hurt about the lack of care than I was about missing anything I could/would have learned.

I hope that, given some time, you can separate the feelings so that they're not one big lump of mess
I'm glad you have the kids to help you get through this. Keep posting.

You are so right. I'm more floored at the response she gave after 4 plus years than what I've accomplished or not accomplished in therapy. Initially I attended for a certain reasons and in turn I'm leaving with the same issues I came in with plus now dealing with loss of my therapist. Before attending therapy I dealt with things differently and learned how to bottle things up well. I'm not sure how well but it was something I could cope with more. Lately I was working on learning how to release that and express myself. I was recently telling her about it but instead it seemed like she just didn't care. I felt like just another body. I told her that Olay times I felt likens was talking to a wall and she found that insulting .i explained that it wasn't meant as an insult and that didn't matter. Anyway for whatever reason it was as she just gave up on me and didn't want to deal with me. I feel like I'm dealing now with the rejection of a therapist on top of everything else. My life is worse now than 4 years ago go figure.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by womanhorselvr

I don't think the therapist can guess your expectations of her, why not tell her exactly how you hope the relationship would end, see how she responds before you get hurt

I don't even want to end the relationship but I almost let it go into whatever direction it would take. I told her that I wanted to go to session but that I have a hard time talking and she said why come in if that's the case instead of her encouraging me to talk or looking for an alternative. That's when I realized that it's not going to work. she knows I have a diificult time talking but won't assist because that's my job. She has a 24hr cancelation policy and she allowed me to cancel that day up until anytime that day because she said that there was no point in wasting my time. This is not her norm but it became her norm the last few months. There was a big change in her after my last break where she said I disrespected her.bwe spoke about it during a session to square things out but regardless of that she was still upset. I could tell there was something there where she was more disconnected and not so much in tune with me. Now it's been over a week since the termination. My kids still go to her establishment to see their therapist and she's really caring and fantastic. I just have to sit this one out. I'm not sure what else to do. She's just probably tired of me and I get it.

[anxiousAmphibian]

First off, it's very brave of you to come out and express your feelings. I know how hard it can be when you're trying so hard to stay motivated. I can only imagine what you're going through right now and you have my sincerest apologies. I know things are difficult and I can't even begin to fathom how stressed you are with your children. I can only hope that you'll either be able to keep in touch with your therapist or if you could somehow use this website as a healthy outlet to express your feelings.

I don't really have advice on how you can handle the matter but I can say that you are strong and being able not only to own up to your feelings but actively looking for ways to fix them is something not very many people can do. I know you've probably have heard this once or twice but please keep strong. You have come this far and there is certainly no way you're going to let life get you down when you have your beautiful children there with you. I believe in you.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by anxiousAmphibian

First off, it's very brave of you to come out and express your feelings. I know how hard it can be when you're trying so hard to stay motivated. I can only imagine what you're going through right now and you have my sincerest apologies. I know things are difficult and I can't even begin to fathom how stressed you are with your children. I can only hope that you'll either be able to keep in touch with your therapist or if you could somehow use this website as a healthy outlet to express your feelings.

I don't really have advice on how you can handle the matter but I can say that you are strong and being able not only to own up to your feelings but actively looking for ways to fix them is something not very many people can do. I know you've probably have heard this once or twice but please keep strong. You have come this far and there is certainly no way you're going to let life get you down when you have your beautiful children there with you. I believe in you.

Thanks for the response. At this point because of how things ended I can't bring myself to reach out to my T. I have no issues if she reaches out to me but that's not how therapy works and that's not her role. Im not sure what to do as of yet.