I was happy about getting paid today but I should have known something would happen. It started when I went into Goodwill this morning and I was struggling to get the cart separated from the others (I've never figured out how to easily do that) and when I finally got my cart I could see this lady that works there staring at me and smiling what I call a pity-smile. Everyone has always liked to stare at me because I'm 23 and look about 12 (so they wonder why I'm out by myself) and now that I'm 31 weeks pregnant it gets even worse. I told myslef maybe I'm just being paranoid and she could be being friendly.

Well I did my shopping-bought a few sleepers, onesies and a jacket for me-and of course she's the one who checked me out. I tried to be friendly and act normal so nothing would go wrong, I said hi and mentioned the weather. Well then she asked how far along I am. Fair enough. When I told her she got this worried look and said,I hope you have a safe environment for your baby. Apparently I LOOK like someone who wouldn't??? DO YOU ASK EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN THAT?..but I just assured her that I do. Then she added insult to injury by telling me I needed to pull my "britches" up as I was walking away from her.

It didn't occur to me until I was waiting for the bus that she must have thought I was on drugs-which I have never even tried. Because of my severe anxiety and the fact that I appear detached from the world people seem to want to draw their own conclusions. I was accused of that (and being possessed by demons) when I had a short job at a veterinarian's office in 2014. I'm absolutely terrified that because I appear different, on top of being poor, that someone is going to think I can't care for my daughter. I can't think of any real reason why CPS would want to take her away from me but the thing is, people get a strange "vibe" from me. And I've heard of caseworkers kidnapping children because of "instinct".

Everyone likes to make assumptions about me when they see me, none of them are true. When I go to the hospital to give birth I know I can expect to be discriminated against because they too will probably make up some BS story about me as always. Well, I know one thing. Over my dead body will anyone try to question where MY daughter belongs or dare judge my parenting because I'm not the average mainstream person that society would want to be a parent. I love this little girl more than words can say and I would give my life for her. There is NO ONE in the world who could ever possibly love her as much as I do. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that if someone ever suspected I'm not able to take care of her that they could go and let someone who doesn't deserve her steal her away from me.

This is ******* me off so much because she is the best gift I've ever received and my dream come true but everyone around me has been determined to make it stressful. I'm dreaming of when I get to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her and see her little eyes looking up at me. But thanks to idiots like the woman in Goodwill, that dream has become a nightmare because my biggest fear is that someone will walk in and snatch her from my arms because I have a mental illness, I'm anti social and they think she would be better off in a traditional family of "normal" people so they get the right to raise MY CHILD. My LIFE belongs to her which no one else's ever will. EVER!

I wish my family and everyone I meet in real life(a few of my online friends have been my biggest support) would stop making this out to be some type of tragedy. Yes, I'm going to be a single mother, yes I'm scared but perfect love casts out fear!

Sorry for the rant.

I meant to add: I want to move OUT of Tennessee. Is there a such place where I can go into a store to buy something
(everyone is shocked that this is my goal and wonder why I get annoyed when they prevent me from getting out of there once I've got what I need) without people sticking themselves all up in my personal life? Saying hi and mentioning the weather or something, is appropriate. Discrimination is NOT.

This was stupid to post. I should just delete it.

[Victoria'smom]

People were like that to me when I was pregnant. When my son was 5 I was yelled at for skipping class though I was 24. I have CP too so I had physical therapist and occupational therapist come into my home to check on if I could take care of my baby. CPS has never been called on me. I wouldn't worry about cps unless you think family or "friends" would call and if they would cut those people out of your life.

[Azureseas]

Originally Posted by Anna72914

I was happy about getting paid today but I should have known something would happen. It started when I went into Goodwill this morning and I was struggling to get the cart separated from the others (I've never figured out how to easily do that) and when I finally got my cart I could see this lady that works there staring at me and smiling what I call a pity-smile. Everyone has always liked to stare at me because I'm 23 and look about 12 (so they wonder why I'm out by myself) and now that I'm 31 weeks pregnant it gets even worse. I told myslef maybe I'm just being paranoid and she could be being friendly.

Well I did my shopping-bought a few sleepers, onesies and a jacket for me-and of course she's the one who checked me out. I tried to be friendly and act normal so nothing would go wrong, I said hi and mentioned the weather. Well then she asked how far along I am. Fair enough. When I told her she got this worried look and said,I hope you have a safe environment for your baby. Apparently I LOOK like someone who wouldn't??? DO YOU ASK EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN THAT?..but I just assured her that I do. Then she added insult to injury by telling me I needed to pull my "britches" up as I was walking away from her.

It didn't occur to me until I was waiting for the bus that she must have thought I was on drugs-which I have never even tried. Because of my severe anxiety and the fact that I appear detached from the world people seem to want to draw their own conclusions. I was accused of that (and being possessed by demons) when I had a short job at a veterinarian's office in 2014. I'm absolutely terrified that because I appear different, on top of being poor, that someone is going to think I can't care for my daughter. I can't think of any real reason why CPS would want to take her away from me but the thing is, people get a strange "vibe" from me. And I've heard of caseworkers kidnapping children because of "instinct".

Everyone likes to make assumptions about me when they see me, none of them are true. When I go to the hospital to give birth I know I can expect to be discriminated against because they too will probably make up some BS story about me as always. Well, I know one thing. Over my dead body will anyone try to question where MY daughter belongs or dare judge my parenting because I'm not the average mainstream person that society would want to be a parent. I love this little girl more than words can say and I would give my life for her. There is NO ONE in the world who could ever possibly love her as much as I do. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that if someone ever suspected I'm not able to take care of her that they could go and let someone who doesn't deserve her steal her away from me.

This is ******* me off so much because she is the best gift I've ever received and my dream come true but everyone around me has been determined to make it stressful. I'm dreaming of when I get to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her and see her little eyes looking up at me. But thanks to idiots like the woman in Goodwill, that dream has become a nightmare because my biggest fear is that someone will walk in and snatch her from my arms because I have a mental illness, I'm anti social and they think she would be better off in a traditional family of "normal" people so they get the right to raise MY CHILD. My LIFE belongs to her which no one else's ever will. EVER!

I wish my family and everyone I meet in real life(a few of my online friends have been my biggest support) would stop making this out to be some type of tragedy. Yes, I'm going to be a single mother, yes I'm scared but perfect love casts out fear!

Sorry for the rant.

Hi,
I don't know if I am doing this reply correctly since I am new at posting in this area of the board but hopefully it will appear lol!
I am sorry you are experiencing judgement and rude comments. That is so not okay!
It sounds like you love your little one dearly and you realize that although being a single mom may not be easy, it certainly isn't the worst thing in the world and also, most children raised by single parents turn out fine.
Your post reminded me of my niece. Her baby boy will soon be 5 months old. She and the baby's father are together but they live with her parents (my sister and her husband) and my niece does most of the day to day baby care because the boyfriend works and also isn't as mature.
My niece got some of those same looks and snide comments because she happens to have several piercings (tongue, navel and a small diamond stud on the side of her nose) as well as several tattoos. I am not a person who likes piercings and I have no tats but my opinion is, it's her body and if she likes the look, that's her business!
She also has anxiety and ptsd due to having been in a severe car accident 2 years ago. She takes an anti anxiety med and also a medication for thyroid disease. Yes, she has her bad days here and there but she ADORES her baby boy and they have a great bond.
Try not to let strangers opinions get to you because in the end, you know you love your child and will be a nurturing and protective parent and THAT is what counts!

[bugbear83]

The lady at the Goodwill didn't have much

good will

in her.......

Or rather, the watered down kind reserved for armchair psychologists and "do-gooders" who rush to brag about that weekend they worked at a soup kitchen.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm sorry that you were mistreated. That someone would comment based on your looks is horrible. It's not really for them to judge.

My daughter still is judged at work because she's 19 and looks like she should still be in high school. She gets a lot of customers who are older and very set in their ways.

By the way, I was a single mom in the military and that was frowned upon. I did the best I could and my daughter is doing well.

Originally Posted by bugbear83

Or rather, the watered down kind reserved for armchair psychologists and "do-gooders" who rush to brag about that weekend they worked at a soup kitchen.

I can't stand those types of people. Another time when I was 19 (so looked younger even than I do now) I was at the bus stop and had a lady come up and basically get in my face asking how old I am where my mother was and why I was by myself...in an angry way like she was mad at who ever let me be out alone. When I told her my age and that I was fine, thank you she STILL kept going. I finally snapped at her to leave me the alone and she had to inform me that she is a foster parent and was just concerned. Get over yourself lady! They seem common in Tennessee for some reason.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I wouldn't worry about cps unless you think family or "friends" would call and if they would cut those people out of your life.

Who I'm really worried about is the hospital when I give birth, if they somehow see my mental health history. But everyone I know has reassured me it won't happen, so I'm really worrying for no reason

[TiredPilgrim]

Originally Posted by Anna72914

This was stupid to post. I should just delete it.

I'm glad you posted it, thank you Anna. Some of what you said I could identify with. Thank you for sharing part of your story. I'm sorry that you have had to deal with so many nosy *ssh*l*s. It amazes me sometimes how many people apparently think their ***** is the only stuff that doesn't stink. I'm sure you'll be a great mom.

Congratulations, I didn't realise you are soon to be a mother.

So sorry you had this attitude come at you, that is very rude of the woman.

When I was in my early 20s I used to take my baby niece out and people would think she was mine, I also looked younger so some people thought I was a teen mother - I had a few unkind comments. One guy said to his friend "What a waste these young girls having babies", I just thought it was hilarious.

Parenthood has it's challenges whatever our ages and circumstances, I don't think any of us can say we are truly prepared for it. As long as you put your daughter first and seek help if and when you need it you will be okay.

Heyy this was funny (the story part) Try to be brave because i know you'll make an awesome mother. And keep your head up when loser people treat you like that, alright?
Good luck

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

This was an interesting and insightful read. Best of luck to you, Anna.

[gobstopper_]

I got angry for you while reading this, partly because that's the sort of thing that used to happen to me all of the time when I was younger and looked way young for my age. (Not over kids specifically, as I don't have any. ) I can tell how much you already care about your baby and that you will be a great mother.
I would've been so tempted to go and complain about that to her manager or something (though I probably wouldn't have gone through with it).