[The Madcap]

So it would take for ever to explain, but basically I live with my girlfriends family. Her step dad is now an asshole and manipulator and treats everyone like crap. He's hurt my girlfriends mom and he's gotten in my girlfriends face. I told myself that if he ever physicall hurts her or pushes her or even lays a hand on her, that I'll kick the living **** out of him. I always feel fence and angsty, and whenever they all get in a fight, I get all pumped and ready. In a way, I want him to do something so I can kick his ***. I'm sorry, that sounds bad. I have ADHD and bad anxiety so maybe that's the case? Or am I looking too deep into it. I've always held my anger in and have never gotten into any fights at school. Am I just holding anger in? Teenage angst? I always tell myself that if someone ever hurt someone I care about or love, I'd do..well..stuff that's not so appropriate for this thread. I kind of want to get in a fight? I don't know.

[Aouhadi]

I'm kinda the same way but I've always said I'd rather be hurt/dead instead of them and I would do anything to protect them. I don't think it's really a love a drama maybe just a need to protect?

[Artchic528]

I have long since realized that being in the heat of an argument or drama makes me feel alive like no other situation can do. It's the flood of adrenaline, the dilation of blood vessels leaving me feeling a flush of warmth and the sensation of competition that I guess I thrive on during these moments.

My mother has said I'm better at controlling my "impulsive angry outbursts" now that I'm on Abilify, an antipsychotic and mood stabilizer. However, I feel more and more......placiated and less so alive.

I've read somewhere that this is a product of having what is known as the "warrior gene", or a gene mutation that benefited our ancestors when it came to warriors going into battle. However, in today's society, such an increase in anger and likelihood to confront others is more detrimental than beneficial as not all of us necessarily need to engage in outright battle anymore. This gene is most likely, though not necessarily, present in individuals who display a hair trigger temper, and likelihood to confront authority and rebel against it. A large portion of the criminals in the US justice system who are in there for aggravated assault, and related charges, are likely carrying this gene inside of them, without understanding or knowing why they are the way they are.

I hope you can find some way to not use anger and confrontation to get that "alive" feeling fix, and get it from something healthier and more constructive. Maybe if you do find this constructive outlet, you can share your success with us?

Take care and good luck staying away from drama if you can help it.

I'm sorry your girlfriend is in such a circumstance and environment. That must be very hard for her and terrible for you to watch. I think what you are feeling is natural. I have 2 teenage sons and I've been ignited in similar ways when I felt it necessary to protect them from threat. Do your best not to act in aggression, but if you need to protect someone it's a defensive situation. Good luck and may you all stay safe and unharmed.

[Thunder Bow]

I think your feelings are probably justified. Just do not get yourself hurt in the process.

I HATE drama. People are different.