[AlittleUnsteady]

I was discharged from an eating disorder program 3 months ago, and I am having a lot of intense, painful emotions. I feel completely alone. I feel like i don't matter and I'm not important. Im having a lot of self harm urges for being unlovable. All these urges got so much more intense within the last few days. The holidays are usually a very hard time for me for multiple reasons. One is that there is a lot of food involved, and I have an eating disorder. The other is that it revolves around family, and I grew up in an abusive home. In more ways than one. I feel like I don't belong anywhere or with anyone, and this time of year is just another reminder. I feel so out of control right now. I dont know if I can make it through the holidays like this. I feel like such a wreck. Does anyone else feel this way during this time of year?

[Yzen]

For me, the holidays are a threat to feeling that I am in control. There are family pressures, work parties, expectations, and obligations. The stress can be draining, so it is important to monitor yourself and take care of yourself even if others don't understand. This year I am trying to do some things for my self care - getting outside more, starting a new exercise routine, writing, sleeping more etc.. - I hope this care will make me feel better these next weeks and give me more a sense of control.

You do matter and are important. I hope the painful emotions fade away soon.

[avlady]

i also wish i could help you feel better. the holidays always get me down, i hate thanksgiving, but i do like Christmas. going through the motions with my in laws this year. new babies in family i don't think i can handle that right now as for some reason i hate the baby talk and i fear sitting on one if left on a couch. i know it sounds stupid but i don't know why either.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're feeling like this..

[Thunder Bow]

Remember that those feelings came from your abusive childhood. The do not say any thing about you today, they are just shadows that therapy can help you heal from. Maybe just spend the holiday alone, and enjoy it for a change. Do what you like doing.