[Crazygrl882]

Hi, I'm here because I'm having some troubles today. I know I'm bipolar (schizoaffective) and I tend to overreact but I can't get it together right now.

My heat went out. Only my heat. I became obsessed. The owner of my condo is a slumlord in a way, wants to get away with not fixing stuff. This went out Wednesday, I kept texting the property manager with no avail. A handyman came over and they told him to stop and not finish. It's supposed to get cold this weekend and I freaked out. I started texting my roommate over and over and over about it. Texting the property manager over and over. I had to take my anti-anxiety medication about it. Shouldn't be that big a deal - I made it one. I had been doing well but lately I've been going downhill. This shows I'm on the slow decline toward rock bottom.

So today my roommate texted me and told me I'm acting like a spoiled brat. I immediately started looking for new places to live and even looked at places in other cities thinking I should just get out of here. My bipolar makes me want to relocate the second I feel uneasy ( I have lived in 3 states in 4 years). I just want to escape. I just moved across the country into this apartment in May and now I'm looking at other states! I know this isn't logical. I'm near tears so I started drinking wine. I have a severe urge to slice my arms because I can't deal with how extreme my feelings are. I can't get my life together - I work a crap job making minimum wage. I used to make $31.00/hour back when I somehow could keep my professional life together - before the layoff. Now all that seems unattainable. I feel like I'm just worthless and a waste of space. No one likes me. My "best friend" has no time for me the past few days so I take that to mean she's done with me. I am obsessing - what did I do????? I feel I'm overexaggeratting everything most likely (1 part of my brain seems to work) but the rest can't get myself to believe it. I feel alone and like no one will ever like me and since I'm having this roommate issue I just want to leave and move into a new apartment alone even though I can't afford it. Who cares, I will find a way. I don't care. I feel like I'm having a panic attack but took 2 klonopin. It won't stop.....

[June55]

I've had some of those feelings that's for sure. Heat should be fixed. Your best friend is likely busy I wouldn't take it personally. Don't get down abut being you. You're a good person. You're kind.

[rachel_]

I know this wouldnt be a long term solution, but until the heat issue is fixed, get a portable one maybe? As far as your friend goes, its probable that she has her own issues to deal with and the lack of closeness is due to that . I do understand where you're coming from, because I have to battle these thoughts too. Take care of you,, ok?

[TimTheEnchanter]

You have a real issue (the heat) but if you overreact then you will make a problem even worse, so count til ten and be a little bit patient. I second the portable heater (a great idea)
P.S. when overreacting with strangers like landlord it makes them even less courteous or helpful. Do not move just for this unless it is to Hawaii, Take care of yourself!