[NeighborsTrigger]

I have been dealing with multiple stressors where I reside. I have posted about some of them. I will try to be brief. I have neighbors who constantly harass me for the minutest item. Last week, one of these neighbors falsely claimed I entered her apartment without her permission. I never even touch her door, let alone want to enter her apartment. I must pass her door every day just to get to the elevator. This is just the most recent miniscule incident. Of course, she called the police about this issue. The police seem to be here almost every weekend involving issues with this neighbor. On the other hand, I am also being harassed by apartment management here. They have given me two lease violations. One was blatant discrimination for a PTSD flashback. Management claimed since the actual abuse occurred so long ago, it had no bearing on the present. They did not take into consideration that it was indeed a PTSD flashback and have discriminated against me because of it. Their point of view is that I disturbed the peace of my neighbors and claimed I made a threatening remark. Again, the police were called. I won't even go into the second lease violation here. I just feel I am being harassed by everyone where I live, be it neighbors and/or management. Thanks for "listening." Lately, I have taken to screaming in my own apartment. I feel the neighbors who caused the PTSD in the first place, should also feel some of my emotional pain in response for what they did to me. I went through four years of DBT several years ago. I can't cope as when I was in that class. It made me realize all the while I was trying to "accept" this entire situation, I had lost my chance to bring justice to these neighbors and this entire scenario. All of my old coping skills appear to be "used up" and very little works to calm my nerves lately. Sometimes doing small cleaning jobs helps. If I can concentrate enough to sit down, I can sometimes write in my journal or work on an art project. But either one of these takes so much of my very little will power to even try to start these projects. I have been in therapy for at least half of my life dealing with my mental illnesses. But now I only see a student therapist along with her PhD. teacher, mostly because of my insurance (Medicare). There are not many PhD. psychologists in my area who are also taking new clients. Many times, my visits to these psychologists are sparse in nature due to either one of their schedules. I am in between case managers. I do have a support system of good friends and a good support group meeting I attend. None of these take the place of a therapist, but these people often fill the gap for the meantime. I am trying to cope the best as I can on my own, but the idea of acceptance of my neighbor's behavior has gone out the window. They have no sense of wanting to understand my honest explanations. They accuse me of all sorts of things without any proof to hold it up. Then, they go to the apartment manger to complain and lie about what I purportedly did. It's a vicious cycle. I would move except for the fact I live on a fixed income and do not have a Section 8 (subsidized document) voucher for any other residence, not to mention my unwarranted tarnished record. ANY HELP IS WELCOME IF ANYONE HAS ANY SUGGESTIONS!

[MickeyCheeky]

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by NeighborsTrigger

Lately, I have taken to screaming in my own apartment. I feel the neighbors who caused the PTSD in the first place, should also feel some of my emotional pain in response for what they did to me.

I would suggest the abandonment of that...and if you truly cannot keep from screaming, at least scream into a pillow.

[Agent Misty]

I'm sorry your neighbors aren't being very understanding That one lady who said you went into her apartment sounds awful... Sigh.

I do agree with leejosepho about the screaming. They aren't going to feel your emotional pain. They are going to feel they are being disturbed in their own homes by you, and become annoyed and resentful. Def try to find a way to get those feelings out without disturbing others. I hope you can find a good steady therapist soon.

[Shazerac]

Screaming in your apartment is going to make your situation a lot worse and even get you evicted. I also hope you find a good therapist soon

[NeighborsTrigger]

Thanks all for posting a response. I have gotten over, at least for a while (few weeks maybe) my screaming episode. I guess since I have very little in the way of help from my therapists, and my friends are usually quite busy, I had to vent here. Although, I am not usually like this (screaming half the day), it has become more frequent in nature for me. I feel so much pressure where I live and don't have the means to escape from it enough. I don't have transportation money, money for meals if I do go out, or money for any sort of diversion that might help that is away from my awful living situation. Yes, I know there are free activities somewhere, but for me it usually involves transportation money and/or ends too late at night for me to get any decent rest. I understand I may be making excuses. I sometimes cope by doing a small art project or working on a crossword puzzle. The trick for me is to calm my mind and somehow sit and settle my nerves enough to proceed with these pastimes. I soon will be back on schedule with my therapists except for when the student therapist leaves for job interviews. Again, thank you all for your responses.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by NeighborsTrigger

The trick for me is to calm my mind and somehow sit and settle my nerves enough to proceed with these pastimes...

Same here. I do not have anger and resentment at people, but there are still times when I have to just sit quietly and work at relaxing the brain rather than acting out in some kind of violent way.

[here today]

So sorry for your struggles. PC has been a great place for me over the years. Doesn't replace therapy, although last summer my last therapy ended in a rupture without repair. I had gotten some good stuff, though, and was able to handle that on my own. PC and my support groups have become my main supports.

Sorry things are so tough right now. Sounds like you need more help and support than you're currently getting. Maybe when you get a new case manager that will improve. It certainly "should" and I hope that you can make a strong case for that with him/her.

Wishing you the best . . .

[Fuzzybear]