I can't go back...

You sound like a very strong woman..I believe that you will succeed at not letting this push you backwards...sounds like a shady place you were working for.

This has opened your world for a BETTER place. You will look back at this and THEM and laugh.

Thanks. Your comment made me want to cry! But I think I am all cried out. I am surprised I come off as a strong woman because I feel anything but strong.

However, I have been through hell and back with suicidal ideation and that is one thing I am determined to not let back into my life.

"I am giving myself one more day of grieving and moping but I will set up a personal schedule to start tomorrow. Without some kind of structure I am doomed."

Sorry, I meant what if we hold you to this statement...Tomorrow, post and we can cheer you on

I think that would be a helpful and supportive idea since I said that today I was going to break out of the doldrums and didn't. I have a "networking lunch" with someone later in the week so I really do have to get out of this mindset...and my pajamas!

Had a great and very positive networking lunch. Had fun and laughed a lot. Hope to stay out of isolation although sometimes it is hard when living alone and unemployed. Getting up and getting out seems to be the key. Am going back out right now for some exercise. Weather where I am is gorgeous. I think the key is to keep moving onto the next thing. Maybe I will just outrun depression because, folks, believe me when I am saying I am not going back. Isolating this week was no fun. I have a half-marathon to train for, by golly. Bye for now.

It sounds so dramatic to try to outrun depression and suicidality but having read thousands of posts on the site I know that you all understand the battle. It is such a battle to find the right medications if you want them, the right therapist, the right environment, job, friends etc. Some are lucky enough to have a supportive spouse and family, a cozy home, financial security, pets, and/or meaningful careers. Others not so lucky. We all gather here to support one another. When I saw all the hugs on this thread I felt like crying. A really good support forum is worth its weight in gold. (Does an online forum weigh anything? Well, you know what I mean.) Love you, guys. Blessings to all.