[586360]

I have a problem where I feel a very deep anger at small dogs. It has to be very specific breeds of dogs, most dogs I love, but the very small rat-like dogs I feel a deep disdain towards and it is a problem for me.

You might be thinking that lots of people get annoyed at small dogs or don't particulary like them, but this is different. I feel a need to push them around while containing the anger by biting my lip very hard. I did not realize I even had this problem until I found myself around the specific dogs that for whatever reason, spark this anger inside of me. The anger is worst when I see them running around being happy. Then I have to bite my lip and contain the feelings of anger coming up inside me.

I used to feel the same anger when I would go on family reunions and see older cousins pick up their little kids and kiss and hug them. I don't have that problem anymore, but at the time it made me angry to see that because I wasn't treated like that. My older sister, growing up, had a need to take her anger out on me and regularly did so, usually in passive aggressive ways. I'm almost certain that this is where my problem comes from.

I cannot explain why I only seem to have this problem with very specific small dogs, but I want to know how I can overcome it. What can I do so that I feel the same type of compassion that I feel towards normal dogs but towards the small dogs?

[Thunder Bow]

You are on track when reffering to issues in your growing up. You see those little annoying little rats getting the attention that you did not get when growing up. Thus you are envious of them. You probably hate the kind of small dog that gets much pampering. Pampering and attention that you did not get when you were small, and needed some of that yourself.

[586360]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

You are on track when reffering to issues in your growing up. You see these little annoying little rats getting the attention that you did not get when growing up. Thus you are envious of them. You probably hate the kind of small dog that gets much pampering, pampering and attention that you did not get when you were small, and needed some of that yourself.

I am almost certain that what you are saying is correct, but what do I do to fix it? And why is it only very certain breeds of small dogs? This is a serious problem for me.

I have some agreement with you here when it comes to seeing the reflection of what I was myself missing in how people treat their - specifically toy-sized dogs.

it sickens me. It pisses me off. And I am a dog lover! But this sicky treat your little muffin all kissy kissy wussy wussy stuff is irritating. And yes - there are people I've had in my own life who have paid more positive attention to their tiny dogs than me.

I have a second reaction. I don't mean to paint all small dog owners with the same brush, but in my experience small dogs don't seem to garner the same expectations for obedience as a large dog. They seem to be able to get away with a lot more. And this is a big irritant for me - and that causes resentment.

Thus, when I see a very small dog, I feel a strong amount of hate come on.

[Artchic528]

I simply adore small dogs, especially Chihuahuas. I dearly miss having one. For those like me, who don't want to have biological children, yet needing an outlet for their nurturing instincts and whatnot, having a dog that was bred to be coddled is just what the doctor ordered.

Yes, I'm one of those people who adores putting a nice cozy sweater on her Chihuahua but it serves a practical purpose as well. Chihuahuas are small and easily lose body heat through their small little bodies, so wearing a sweater is a must for them on a chilly winter day. I also love talking baby talk to my dogs, and calling them cute little pet names. It's all part of dog ownership.

But to focus more on the OP, I'd go see a T about this resentment you harbor towards breeds that are made to coddle and nurture. You can work these out without taking out aggression on those innocent babies. It's certainly not their fault.

[misscath007]

I love small dogs too and have to admit that mine is a child substitute. Some of us NEED that. Might be sickening to you but if you don't like them don't be around them..simple as that. I don't like pit bulls so I go out of my way to avoid them. Sounds like you need to work this out with a therapist!

[MickeyCheeky]

Do you see a therapist? I'd talk with one about this..

[*Laurie*]

I agree with others...your anger seems so intense...it sounds to me like you would benefit by talking with a therapist, or being in a support group.

[586360]

What type of therapist would be best able to help me overcome this particular problem? Are there things that can be done on my own as well?

[Thunder Bow]

I do not think you need Therapy over small dogs. However You can talk to a Therapist about your growing up. So of the replies showed why some want a small dog as a pet. Understanding is the key.

How often do you see small dogs? I rarely see them. What do you feel like doing to them?

[zijax]

586360, Bravo for your honesty...refreshing. You've already made a beginning by putting it out there. It is no longer buried. At least you see it as a problem and are trying to fix it. There should be no judgement here folks.

[avlady]

i do not like chewawas, i think i'm n that catagory with alot of people, just don't go near them. also to reinforce my point, if you don't like pit bulls is in the same category. they are scarry.

[seesaw]

Yeah, if it really worries you, see a T and work through the association issue, but honestly...I dislike small dogs myself...It's not something I need to overcome. I just avoid them and if I have to be near them, I ignore them.

How much is it affecting your life? Is it so inhibiting that you need to deal with it? Or is it just that it brings up these other emotions that you feel you need to deal with?

If the latter, see a T and work through those emotions. It probably won't take much.

Seesaw

[586360]

I appreciate the replies.

How often do you see small dogs? I rarely see them. What do you feel like doing to them?

I want to scare the **** out of them in abusive ways. I get pleasure from that the same way a pissed off person gets pleasure from revenge on someone they hate.

I do not think you need Therapy over small dogs. However You can talk to a Therapist about your growing up. So of the replies showed why some want a small dog as a pet. Understanding is the key.

What do you mean when you say understanding is key?

[Thunder Bow]

Understanding your growing up, will help you understand your feelings around pampered small dogs. Are they getting what you did not get as a small child? But also realize small dogs can be irritating by their very nature. They tend to be hyper and bark to much.

[586360]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Are they getting what you did not get as a small child?

I assume that's the problem because it makes sense, but I don't think that when I have the problem, I just get a strange desire to be abusive towards the dog and clench my teeth on something at the same time as hard as possible.

I understand small dogs are annoying, but I also know for a fact that this is different than annoyance. The dog is very well behaved, it's seeing her curled up sleeping on a bed or wearing a shirt or seeing her trot that gets my anger going, I feel it deep in my stomach. Basically seeing the dog being unassuming and carefree pisses me off

In fact, just now that I've started typing this, it occurred to me, I have a desire to abuse the dog while pretending to be nice to it. Dropping it in a pool of water or petting it while it's quivering in fear. I assume this is because my sister was passive aggressive and would be as vicious as possible while still maintaining her facade of being the good one. I don't know, it just popped in my head.

[seesaw]

First, I think it's very significant and insightful of you to recognize that you have these feelings and that they are not normal. That's a huge first step. I agree with others who have said the only way to get to the root of this is to see a therapist who can help you work through your emotions and the associations you attribute to the small dogs.

Question, do you also feel this way about other small animals, like cats, or is it just dogs?

[586360]

Originally Posted by seesaw

First, I think it's very significant and insightful of you to recognize that you have these feelings and that they are not normal. That's a huge first step. I agree with others who have said the only way to get to the root of this is to see a therapist who can help you work through your emotions and the associations you attribute to the small dogs.

Question, do you also feel this way about other small animals, like cats, or is it just dogs?

Thanks for the kind words. I've only felt this way around small rat-like dogs. I don't think I've ever felt the same way towards any other animal.

I do think I've felt that way towards people though, but it don't think I still have that problem towards people any more. The dog problem I think I've had almost my whole life. I remember feeling this way around age 8.

I think that this type of problem has been passed down from my grandma to my mom to my sister and I. I think that my mom kept me away from my dads parents growing up because she despised my dad's mom and I deeply suspect that it was the same type of problem I have towards dogs.

I also know that my grandma's father walked out on them when she was 6. I know because I asked them why they never say "love you" or go to sporting events or care about family reunions after I was pissed off at them for skipping my college graduation and I got her to tell me about her father. She said she didn't want to talk about it further.

[586360]

Originally Posted by GoldenWaves

I think this sounds like an anger issue, so I think it would be best to find a therapist who specializes in anger management. I was once in an anger management group that was helpful (to a point----one person always dominated the group so that was a tad annoying.)

I think that a therapist who specializes in anger management would be able to help you with this issue. It sounds like you have anger issues stemming from childhood and the dogs are just an outlet for your anger.

But yes, I can understand where you're coming from, in a way. I get extremely irritated by this same sort of issue, but it manifests itself in different ways. In my case, I can indeed choose who I want to be around and my irritation isn't "just me" as I've spoken with others who get irritated by the same sort of thing. I don't have any extreme feelings of anger, its just general annoyance.

Thanks, I will look into one who specializes in anger management