Pain

Being sensitive is really hard sometimes. I woke up, didn’t feel motivated to go to zumba. went anyway. Nobody talked to me, even though there are some familiar faces. I’m relatively new still. But I wish someone talked to me. I think the reality, is that if someone seems sad, sensitive, or shy, people don’t want to talk to you. They are like, afraid of me or something. Or just uninterested. I can’t pretend not to care. That I am lonely. That I wish I could share my life with someone. Not that it will make it better. But I just wish I was happy. I wish I didn’t wake up from ****ing nightmares of that last guy I dated. I hate him. How could he do this to me. Did he know the harm he would cause? Did he care? I want to date again. But I’m so uncomfortable with the idea of online dating, that whenever I get close, I feel emotionally sick. Terrified and very uneasy. I’ve had so many hurtful experiences. I wish he was dead.

I can relate.. being shy/reserved really makes you lonely I'm sorry you have to put up with this..

Thank you MickeyCheeky. I appreciate your response. I started feeling much better after I wrote this out and posted it. I think the endorphins help too.

Good you went and challenged yourself. Sorry for your hurtful experiences, and I hope you will feel better soon. I don't know if this helps and maybe you already know it, but I will throw it out there: I know theoretically that making yourself vulnerable although is hard and painful, it's the way to connect with others.

I wish I could get to your level of joining something.After my first divorce I done this exersice recommended by my T I went grocery shopping and asked a lot of women for a date and offered my phone# I got rejected by every woman but after about 6 rejections it seemed not to bother me. Just going and doing the workout and not expecting to make friends would be better because what you are doing is good some of them places can be kind of clicky so after a while you will probably connect with someone.Just keep going

Hi Mr. Stranger, thanks I feel better. I think I feel things more intensely sometimes. Its good for me to know. i do know that about vulnerability and connecting, but I really appreciate you saying it, because it's not something I've been very cognizant of lately. And it's a good reminder.

Thank you eyes closed! That is truly...true! Like exposure. The more you do it, the easier it gets. I completely agree with what you said about not expecting to make friends, too. I did that before, and it was easier for me.