Been avoiding depression by doing this

I have in the past tried to hurt myself several times almost a hundred. But it seems lately instead of getting weaker im getting stronger. I don't know if its cause of meds or what but im different i still get scared everytime im left by myself but ive been managing however i am at the same time feeling numb lately and bored so ive been trying to start my own business and even if it doesn't get off the ground. At least ill be keeping myself busy

Great Idea I have often thought about this but can't come up with anything I could really do.

The horse was easy the musical kaleidoscopes not so much still a work in progress.